The Pain Paradox
“The soul is like a violin string. It makes music only when it is stretched.”
– Neal Maxwell
The following is an excerpt from my newest book set to be published in the next 2 to 3 weeks.
Summer 1992
What struck me first was the color of her eyes as she looked up at me when the paramedics wheeled the stretcher into the trauma room. Her eyes were a piercing shade of ice blue. The paramedics rattled off the details of the motor vehicle accident as if she weren’t even there:
“19-year-old female, rollover MVA, ejected from the vehicle, traumatic amputation of right leg.”
I immediately thought to myself, Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute, hold on; I don’t see a lot of blood on the sheet.
At that exact moment, another paramedic rushed in with a big red plastic bag over his shoulder. He dumped it on a counter with a loud thud and announced, “I brought this in so you can reattach it.” It was her leg. She had sustained a traumatic amputation just above the knee. All the major arteries were in spasm, which was why the blood loss was minimal.
The trauma team began the assessment: Airway… Breathing… Circulation… No head trauma; lungs sounded okay. We started taking X-rays of her chest and pelvis when I noticed something. Dark, merlot-colored blood was pooling from what appeared to be an open fracture around her pelvis.
The statistics started to dance in my head. Crap. Open pelvic fracture and a traumatic amputation of a leg. Not good. She grabbed my arm and whispered softly, squeezing my hand, “Please don’t let me die. I don’t want to die. Please, please don’t let me die!”
At about the same time, one of the ER nurses called out, “I can’t get a pressure on the machine; I’m getting a pressure of 70 palpable, but it’s dropping!”
As I conducted a head-to-toe assessment, a cold, clinical fact hit me: In this type of injury, most studies indicate that mortality rates are some of the highest of any trauma insult. Insult? I thought, She’s dying! Statistics can give us a sense of support, comfort, and safety, but in this case, they only highlighted the futility and hopelessness of the situation.
But there is always the possibility of a miracle. I have witnessed a few.
The trauma team was assembled, and ortho had just arrived. We knew that her best chance was to stabilize the pelvic fracture as quickly as possible, as hemorrhaging around pelvic fractures is lethal without rapid control.
We started preparing her for the OR. Two IV lines? Check. Fluids wide open? Check. I instructed the lab techs, who were finishing up her blood draw, “Send blood for type and cross, and tell the blood bank to have O-negative ready for her when she hits the OR.”
As they wheeled her out, she looked at me with a kind of fear and despair that is still etched in my mind, even thirty years later. All I could manage to say was, “We are doing everything we can. Don’t be afraid; you aren’t going to die.”
She coded about twenty minutes into the procedure and didn’t survive the resuscitation efforts.
Excerpt from “The Pain Paradox: Embracing Suffering for Growth and Purpose” (Forthcoming, 2026)
In a world drowning in misinformation, pain stands as the ultimate truth—unyielding, honest, and inescapable. It reveals our deepest realities, demanding we face them head-on. But what if pain isn’t just an enemy to endure, but a catalyst for profound transformation?
This book dives into that radical idea, drawing from two years of research in psychology, philosophy, and spirituality to uncover how suffering builds resilience, empathy, and a deeper sense of purpose.Consider this: Over 60 million Americans battle chronic physical pain daily, while half the population grapples with anxiety or depression.
As an ER physician with 30+ years in the trenches, I’ve witnessed heartbreak that seems to melt into one endless blur—except for cases like the 19-year-old with piercing ice-blue eyes. Despite our frantic efforts, she didn’t make it. Why such suffering? Why a young life cut short?
These questions haunt us all, yet they point to a greater mystery: Pain’s normalcy and necessity.Enter the Pain Paradox.
Our strongest instinct is to avoid pain, yet it’s through hardship that we gain life’s richest insights—far more than comfort ever offers. As Carl Jung noted, “One finds one’s destiny on the path one takes to avoid it.” Rooted in Christian principles but accessible to all, this exploration shows how pain refines us, from spiritual “stops” like brokenness and surrender (per Barna Group research) to forging authentic selves as God’s heirs.
In four parts, we’ll dissect pain avoidance, self-inflicted misery, purpose amid storms, and how suffering births faith, hope, and love. Viktor Frankl reminds us: “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” If you’re seeking clarity, meaning, or fulfillment amid trials, discover why everything of true value lies on the other side of hard—and how embracing the paradox unlocks joy beyond imagination.
What hidden music might your stretched soul play?