Brave The Wave

Category: Trials Waves Pain

  • Dealing With Anxiety

    Dealing With Anxiety

    Dealing With Anxiety

     

    Do you feel overwhelmed by anxiety? I was listening to something Rick Warren said this morning on a downloadable message. He said, when you put God in the center of your life you worship. When God isn’t in the center of your life, you worry. How many of us worry? I would say a lot of us.

    Two out of five Americans say they worry every day, according to a new white paper released by Liberty Mutual Insurance. Among the findings in the “Worry Less Report”: Millennials worry about money. Single people worry about housing (and money). Women generally worry more than men do and often about interpersonal relationships. The good news: Everyone worries less as they get older.

    “People have a love-hate relationship with worry,” said Michelle Newman, a professor of psychology and psychiatry at Pennsylvania State University, who was not involved in the writing of the report. “They think at some level that it helps them.”

    We know that up to sixty million Americans are on medication for anxiety or depression. Worry is a big problem. Stress, anxiety, and just dealing with day to day survival is tough. It’s easy to say that if we put Jesus in the center of our lives, our worries disappear. For me personally, it’s not that I don’t trust Jesus or that I don’t have faith, sometimes I know that he will allow trials or waves in our lives to build up our faith even more.

    We are all in the same boat. Even if my faith grows exponentially, I am still going to have concerns, trials and troubles.  I have just gone through a litany of troubles and I’m in the midst of several tough circumstances right now. That is why we’re here. To help each other.  Support each other.  Encourage each other. There are fifty nine “each other” or “one another” phrases in the New Testament.

    I believe God allows trials and troubles in some instances to bring the community together. I remember right after Hurricane Harvey watching an interview with someone who was rescuing people from their flooded out homes. In the background you could see people walking in waist deep water carrying black trash bags over their heads filled with their possessions.  The gentleman being interviewed said something that caught my attention, “if you look around, you can see a lot of water as these people are trying to escape. But there is more love around here than water.”  Boom. Ka Ching. That is what God is interested in. He wants us to grow in love and he wants us to support and love each other. So depending on our social support systems, family and friends is one place to go to when we are feeling anxious and stressed.

    The Prince of Peace

    Look at this excerpt from “Brave The Wave”,

    Let me give you a typical conversation at work that happens so often it’s mind boggling. It usually starts by my saying, “Well, Mr. Thomas, we’ve received all your results, including the CT scans and all the blood work. Everything looks really good. I’m not sure why you’re having the dizziness and the tingling-all-over feeling, but it looks like there’s nothing dangerous going on here.” The patient looks down and seems disappointed. Slowly he looks up and asks—wait for it— “Doc, do you think it could be stress?”

    Boom. There it is. Stress and anxiety.

    More than one in five American adults took medications for psychiatric disorders such as anxiety and depression in 2010, according to new research by Medco Health Solutions, Inc. Titled America’s State of Mind, the report released this November by the pharmacy benefit manager was based on its prescription medication database of 2.5 million insured Americans.[i]

    What these trends do not reveal is that those are the people who went to a doctor and got a prescription. Think about the number of people who didn’t go see a physician, but instead have a few glasses of wine in the evening or a six pack of beer to “take the edge off.”

    [i] https://www.anxiety.org/antianxiety-medication-use-soars-in-past-decade.

    When it comes to anxiety and worry, Jesus wants us to come to him. To depend and rely on him. He wants us to focus on our relationship with him. He tells that worrying about our circumstances does nothing with regard to peace.

    “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?                     (Matthew 6:25-27 NLT)

    So really we start with Jesus and then we can spend time with our friends and family. Spending time with others is a good way to help deal with a stressful situation. It helps to know that you are not alone. If we start with a quiet time with Jesus in prayer and meditation and then have lunch with friends or family, we are well on our way to decreasing our level of stress. We know that we aren’t alone. That is really helpful when it comes to dealing with anxiety.

    The Power of A Hot Bath

    I love Seth Godin. He has some great insights and ideas. He also believes in the sharing of ideas. I’m a big fan of that also. If I learn something that is helpful when you feel overwhelmed by anxiety and you are struggling with the stress  of every day life, I want to share it. I just went through a very stressful situation and I was suffering spiritual pain. The kind of hurt you feel when someone dies or when someone you love rejects you and leaves you. There was an intense pain that could only be described as spiritual.

    I’m going to recommend something that isn’t very manly, but it works. What I discovered was soaking in a hot bath tub is a great anxiety reliever.  Most of the time when we think of soaking in a hot tub and a bubble bath, we think of  women. Well, women have it right when it comes to stress relief. Here are some of the physiologic responses to a hot bath that bring serenity and peace.

    “Stress causes the muscles of the body to contract,” says Dr. Mark Khorsandi, a migraine surgeon in Houston, Texas. “A hot bath can relieve those symptoms and keep the muscles loose.” Stretching and moving in the water also provides a low-impact workout for discomfort in muscles, joints, and bones.

    This has been true for Alaina Leary, 24, who regularly takes hot baths to help manage chronic pain from living with Ehlers-Danlos, a disorder that affects the connective tissues. When she was first diagnosed at the age of 9 in 2002, she recalls feeling extremely breakable. “I was slower than other kids. I had trouble running [and] walking one foot at a time.”

    After working with different physical and occupational therapists, she began using warm baths during pain flare-ups. In the evenings, she would set aside time to ease into the tub and let her muscles relax.

    Many people who have chronic illnesses report feelings of depression and despair. Khorsandi says hot baths can provide physical comfort and contentment, and can ease the blues that are associated with chronic pain.

    https://www.healthline.com/health/chronic-pain/hot-bath-benefits-sento-furo-japanese-bathing#3

    When it comes to hot baths, the Romans were doing that 2000 years ago.

    Ancient Rome had hundreds and hundreds of bath houses. This is a steam room in Pompeii, Italy.  If you get a chance to visit Pompeii, I would do it. It’s the closest thing to traveling back in time that you can find.

    So when we are feeling overwhelmed by anxiety, start with a quiet time with Jesus. Maybe read a devotional like “Jesus Calling”. Spend time in prayer and in the Word.

    Second, spend time with friends and family. Remember that with a good social support system, its easier to deal with anxiety and stress because you know that you aren’t alone.

    Third, take a long hot bath. It will relax your muscles and help you to feel more at ease.

    We are all in this together. We are here to support and love each other. But Jesus reminds us that we are never alone. We should always remember that.

  • Who Or What We Reject Matters

    Who Or What We Reject Matters

    Who Or What We Reject Matters

    We are free to choose to reject whatever we want. Sometimes we  reject activities or pursuits that are valuable. We just don’t think they have value or we can’t see the value. That has more to do with knowledge and vision. It can also come down to need. We don’t see a need.

    If we look at our faith life, when people reject or ignore spiritual pursuits, they don’t see a need.  They can’t see the value. If we see a need or we see value in pursuing spiritual growth and clarity, our behavior reflects that.

    We know that when people value something or some activity, they devote time to it and they spend money on it.  We can easily look at our own lives and look at where we’re spending our time and money.   Those are the ideas or activities that we have chosen to accept and embrace.  We value those activities or else we wouldn’t be spending what most people consider to be their most precious assets. Time and money. This is part of self-evaluation.  Honesty is required.   Sometimes brutal honesty. What do you value the most? What are you spending the most time on? Is there value there ? What are you choosing to reject ?

    Where is Your Value ?

    If you look at the picture above, this is clearly a relationship. Relationships have value. What if Jesus was the one pleading with you to come to him?  The most important relationships that we have are the ones we have with God and Jesus. They hold our eternity and the nature of our eternity in their hands. If we believe that statement, then we can agree that there isn’t anything more important than that.

    “Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God.”

    (12:21 NLT)

    I just came across a statement by C.S. Lewis. It’s absolutely brilliant because it breaks things down to their essentials.

    “Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.”

    We all get caught up in a lifestyle that makes our faith moderately important. If it was infinitely important our lives would reflect that.

    Where does value originate ? How do you decide what is valuable in your life ? Many times we make decisions about value with ourselves in the middle of those decisions. How is this activity going to help me or my family? How am I going to benefit from spending time working on this project?

    Really we are just bouncing in this life from accepting or rejecting activities or pursuits at all times.  Look at this verse in Luke 10:16,

    “Whoever listens to you, listens to me; whoever rejects you rejects me; but whoever rejects me, rejects Him who sent me.”

    We choose to accept or reject someone or something every day.  To me it’s about consistency. Whatever we consistently reject over the course of years is what influences this life and the next. It determines our destiny. What we consistently choose to accept and embrace over the course of years is what has the most impact on this life and our eternity.

    We Need To Choose To Reject Wisely

    Choosing the right way is really choosing the HARD way. It is hard to put ME second and think of others first.

     “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. “ But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”   

    ( Matthew 7:13-14 NIV)

    In “Brave the Wave”, there is an idea that OUR eternity is OUR responsibility. OUR choices and OUR rejections are both OUR responsibility. Jesus is telling us in the above verse from Luke that what we choose to reject is just as important as what we choose to accept, if not more important.

     

     

     

     

  • Drifter, Spinner or Dabbler ?

    Drifter, Spinner or Dabbler ?

    Why are we so tired all the time ?  Why don’t we have any energy?  Why are there so many energy drinks on the market ?  I believe that the answer has to do with passion.  Here is an excerpt from my second book in the authentic self series.

     

       Think about being on a rubber raft in the middle of the Pacific ocean. You are the only survivor after the ship you were on capsized in a storm. You are out on the ocean and you have access to food rations and water. If you have no motor or paddle, you are just drifting and helpless. You are at the mercy of ocean currents and waves. You have no sail, no motor, no paddle, no compass, and no knowledge of how to navigate by the stars. That could be a description of how you are living your life at this very moment in time. Drifting. No guidance. No power. No direction. I’ve been there before. 

    Where would you start if you had the choice to acquire all of these? You may be the person in the raft who has a compass and you know the direction that you need to be headed, but you have no sail or no motor. No power. No energy. Or if you do, you can’t sustain it for very long. You paddle a little bit and you try to head in a particular direction, but you lose your drive or energy, so you give up.

    You may be a dabbler. Paddle a little bit, take a break. The definition of dabble is to “take part in an activity in a casual or superficial way.” If you think about being stranded in a rubber dinghy on the ocean, if you dabble, you die. If we don’t take our passion or our purpose seriously, we will tend to dabble. You may be a dabbler. I’ve been there also.   

       What if we have a huge motor and plenty of power, but we have no compass or rudder? We may start off going in a one direction, but without a compass or a rudder, over time we could just be navigating in circles. We are spending huge amounts of time, energy and effort, but we aren’t really making any progress at all. I’ve been there also.  I’ve had plenty of energy, but I was wasting it on activities, projects or pursuits that had very little to no value whatsoever. That is kind of like puttering around in circles, but getting nowhere.

    The thing that is the most interesting or disturbing, depending on how you look at it, is that I didn’t have any idea that I was wasting my time, energy and money. That is being in the raft going in circles and being completely unaware that you are.  If the power or the energy is unfocused and not heading toward any one point, that power is wasted. Not only is it wasted, but it leaves you prone to exhaustion and frustration.  There is no fulfillment, no satisfaction, no peace and no joy. This is what I call the spinning phase of my life.   It’s like being in a four-wheel drive truck.  You have plenty of gas and a big engine.  You are flooring the gas pedal but you aren’t getting anywhere. You are in very deep mud.  You’re spinning your tires, but not only are you not going anywhere, you’re sinking deeper and deeper into the mud. Spinning your wheels for the sake of spinning your wheels. Lots of noise. No movement. You may be a spinner.

    I believe our energy comes from passion. The thing that we were created to do. The thing that we “can’t not” do.  When we combine passion with purpose, we have power, guidance, and focus. Those in combination make it much more likely that we can reach our goals and fulfill our purpose.  We discover  our authentic self when we are engaged in our passion moving towards completion of our purpose. We are living and striving towards the pursuits, purpose and goal that God had in mind when he thought us up and designed us. We are exactly where we are supposed to be.

     

  • Sometimes Failure IS The Plan

    Sometimes Failure IS The Plan

    Jesus said,

    “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat. But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.”Peter said, “Lord, I am ready to go to prison with you, and even to die with you.” But Jesus said, “Peter, let me tell you something. Before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me.”
    (Luke 22:31-34 NLT)

    Jesus already knew Simon was going to fail. So he prayed that when he repented, he could turn again to Jesus. Sometimes the plan is for us to fail. That is part of the plan for us at that moment. It’s hard to try to see the plan or the benefit of our failures. All we can focus on is the pain. I have been going through a painful situation and it is really hard to focus. It is so much easier to give advice about pain when you are not in pain.

    Sometimes you just need someone to tell you that they are there for you. There are feelings of inadequacy. A loss of self-esteem. There is the humility of failure. It’s hard to see the positive aspects of our stumbles. But they are there. Spend time looking over your stumbles and mistakes. We learn the most from our trials and our troubles. Awards, successes and accolades are nice. They bring nothing to the table when it comes to clarity and vision.

  • AT MY BEST

    AT MY BEST

    “At my best”

    When or where can you point to in your life when you were “at my best”. One shining moment in your life when you can say, yes at this moment, I was “at my best”. When were there moments when you were “at my worst”?   That is one moment I would like to have back or I wish I could change that moment because that wasn’t “one of my better moments.”

    Make a list. Just for yourself. It doesn’t have to be too long. On the left put a header, “at my worst or my worst moments or moments I was least proud of.” On the right put “at my best, moments I am most proud of.” Just make a quick list.

    Think about the moments where you were “at my worst”.  We all have them. All of the moments where I was “at my worst”, had some selfishness in there somewhere. Many times there was pride in there also.  Prideful thinking.

    Many of the moments I wish I could have back could have been different  if I had been more selfless and humble. Pride is a killer. It kills relationships and it kills love. it reduces us to our worst.

    Most of the time that I felt “AT MY BEST”, I was helping somebody else. The focus was off of me. If we can focus on our closest relationships and focus on love, automatically, we are “AT OUR BEST”.  If we can learn to be selfless and humble, we automatically avoid situations where we are tempted to be “at our worst”.   It ain’t easy, but it’s possible.

     

    We Ride  !!!!!!!!

  • Easy Is An Illusion

    Easy Is An Illusion

    Easy is an illusion

    Look at this excerpt from “Brave the Wave”

    I emphasize this because we live in a world that uses catch phrases or words to sell products. They grab people’s attention. The most commonly used words in advertising are free, now, you, save, money, easy, proven, and guarantee.[i] We’re bombarded with ads using these words all the time. People are preprogrammed to look for free and easy.

    Embrace the mindset that there is no free, there is no easy, there is no guarantee, and there’s not much proven out there. There are no quick and easy steps to anything. If you’re an adult who has been through any difficulty, you already know that anything of real value is difficult and requires time, effort, and energy.

    [i] https://www.thebalance.com/most-powerful-words-in-advertising-38708.

    We are brainwashed to look for free and easy. The average adult sees about 5000 ads a day. It’s hard to sell difficult or hard. It’s easy to sell easy. “If the road you are on is easy,” Terry Goodkind says, “it’s likely you’re going the wrong way.” If you are spending time and energy looking for easy, you are chasing an illusion. Every task of value is difficult. Really if you think about most of the things that we are doing in this life are difficult. Work is hard. Marriage is hard. Starting a business is hard. Raising children is hard. Getting a degree is hard.  Relationships are hard. Life is hard.

    When you seek value, and you understand spiritual principles, you EXPECT hardship. You EXPECT tough times. You EXPECT bumps and obstacles. From my own experience, the value is what lies over the hill and when the wave takes us into shore. Guess who is standing on the beach waiting for us? Jesus.  He has all the insights, revelations and clarity that come from enduring those trials and those difficulties. We just have to keep trusting and believing. When we choose to Brave The Wave, we have access to power, insight, and the full expectation of greater proximity to our authentic self. We only grow through adversity.  I know. It sucks. But it’s true.

    “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
    (John 16:33 NLT)

    Notice Jesus isn’t saying you MAY have trouble. He is saying you WILL have trouble. Especially if you are doing anything about sharing the gospel and bringing others to Jesus.  You are putting on a helmet and getting into the fray. Expect bullets. Expect arrows.

    I will never write or speak about a topic that I know nothing about. When it comes to spiritual warfare, those battles are real. Spiritual warfare is no fairy tale and it isn’t Disneyland. (I love Disneyland.)  But we are never alone.

    Spiritual battles aren’t easy.  We need insight, revelations, clarity and power in order to be effective in battle.   Those things never come easy. Easy is an illusion.