Frustration. We deal with it every day. Think about the people around you and the relationships that are most important to you. The daily interactions that we encounter. Why are we so frustrated? Most often it’s because of the behavior of those around us. Those who we love most. Why are we so worked up? Because we want them to act in the way that WE want them to act. We want them to believe in a way that is similar to our beliefs. WE want them to value the things that WE value. Rick Warren says, “don’t expect someone to act like a believer until they become one.”
So what is the solution? We have to allow imperfection in others. Just as as Jesus allows imperfection in us, we allow for imperfection in others. We have to allow our loved ones to be themselves. Also we can’t change their hearts. No one has the power to change another person’s heart. We get frustrated when we convince ourselves that we can. That is pure self deception. It’s not reality. It doesn’t mean we are powerless. We have access to power and truth.
Just because we can’t change someone’s heart doesn’t mean we can’t pray for them. In the movie, “The Case for Christ”, Lee Strobel’s wife prayed every day that her atheist husband would come to the knowledge of the truth. Her prayer was based on Ezekiel 36:26,
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”
Being in a situation where you have a growing thriving relationship with Jesus and someone very close to you does not, is very frustrating. It lends itself to despair, anger and feelings of helplessness. The best thing we can do is pray the verse above and keep asking for God’s help. I write about this in “Brave the Wave”,
It’s interesting that in my Bible study group there’s always one topic of discussion among the participants. We consistently lament the fact that family members or loved ones are resistant to coming to Jesus or coming back to church services. We get frustrated because we would do anything we could to bring a brother, sister, mother, brother-in-law, or father-in-law to the knowledge of the truth. It always brings the image to my mind of being in the desert and stumbling along with all my family members. It’s hot, and our lips are chapped and dry. The wind is blowing hard, and sand is getting in our eyes. We look over, and there’s Jesus standing in an oasis right next to a well. He’s drawing water from the well. It’s hard to make him out because of the sand in our eyes.
A few of our group will then fight the wind-driven sand and wipe it from our eyes, as we make our way to where Jesus is standing next to the well. It’s much calmer there, and we can see Jesus. We’re dying of thirst, and he gladly gives us a drink. He’s smiling at us and looking at us with eyes of love. We start drinking the water, and then he starts to give us food. We’re laughing and joking, and then Jesus looks over at some of my family still out there in the desert with sand in their eyes, walking aimlessly. And he says, “What about them?”
We’re trying to get them to come to the oasis. We wave our arms wildly and shout, “Come over here. We have food and water!” But our loved ones say, “No, we’re okay over here.” They continue to stumble around in the desert with the wind-driven sand in their eyes.
I’m telling you, I’ve been in both places, and being next to Jesus is so much better. There’s not only water in the oasis, but also a garden and fruit trees and many wonderful things, things you can’t see from outside. There’s a whole world that opens to you when you stand next to Jesus and accept the water from the well.
Changing someone’s heart is in the realm of the supernatural. Only the Holy Spirit has the power to do that. In the mean time, we just keep on loving this person, being patient with this person and having faith. We allow for imperfection in others because we know that we are imperfect and Jesus allows imperfection in us.
I bet every single one of us has at least one person in mind that we would give anything to have them come into a relationship with Jesus. So we aren’t alone in this situation. We are all in this thing together.
We Ride !!!!!!