“The truth doesn’t cost anything, but a lie can destroy everything”
There is one thing that I remember someone saying that really caught my attention, “we lie to ourselves more than we lie to anyone else.” A statement like that tends to illicit skepticism. From my own experience, there is clearly a significant amount of truth to that statement. When we think about lies and the value of truth, it never really hits home until you can clearly see real world examples of the overwhelming destruction and tragedy of how a lie can destroy a legacy and destroy entire families. These are cautionary tales that we can learn from and apply to our own lives because it could easily happen to us. One important point is that when you are trying to conceal the truth and you are trying to keep a secret in the dark, it just keeps growing and growing like a monster in the closet. In order to keep the lie from others, you have to create more deception and more lies. Inevitably, the innocent are the ones who suffer and families and institutions are destroyed in the wake of the truth being revealed.
This type of tragedy is compounded by engaging in willful blindness. We essentially turn a blind eye to our own behavior or the behavior of others, even when we know that what we are doing is wrong. The reason I’m addressing these ideas at this time is because of what has been occurring lately with regard to Christian apologist Ravi Zacharias.
This is a tough topic to discuss, but this has been bothering me for days and I feel compelled to discuss some of these spiritual principles with regard to this situation because it is unique and for me personally somewhat shocking. But I believe that there is much to learn and glean from what has happened and there are many lessons for us to incorporate into our own lives when it comes to self-deception and willful blindness.
Amongst the Christian community at this time, the sex scandal involving Ravi Zacharias is blowing up all over the internet and on You Tube. If you are unaware, Ravi Zacharias was a world famous Christian apologist who evangelized all over the globe and who is the founder of RZIM, Ravi Zacharias International ministries. He died of cancer in May of 2020. To give you an idea of his popularity, Vice-President Mike Pence spoke at his funeral. Ravi had been speaking and bringing many people to the Christian faith for over forty years.
“An Indian-Canadian convert to Christianity, Zacharias has become one of the best-known living apologists and has authored dozens of books on faith. With almost $24 million in US revenue last year, RZIM sponsors dozens of itinerant preachers and apologists (such as the late Nabeel Qureshi); puts on conferences for Christian leaders; and holds forums on college campuses.”
I personally have read a few of his books and watched his lectures and You Tube videos. He was a very powerful speaker and a very persuasive Christian apologist. He explained philosophical principles of truth and how Christianity is the wisest path for every single person who is looking for answers and for direction in their lives.
Reading about the sex scandal and how he essentially was a sexual predator was extremely disconcerting to me as a believer and as someone who always admired his faith and his ability to explain spiritual principles in a way that I could relate to. I even quoted him in my last book and used a quote of his in my current book that will be published in the next few months. I removed that quote yesterday. There is always something for each of us to learn from the mistakes of others around us. But when spiritual leaders and giants of the faith are toppled, we can learn a great deal and we can also begin to look at our own lives more carefully to avoid the kinds of mistakes that will have an impact on ourselves and our families.
Background
Ravi has been accused of sexual harrassment and inappropriate and unwanted sexual advances by several massage therapists who worked in two massage parlors co-owned by him. In addition he was involved in a lawsuit with a woman named Lori Ann Thompson who alleged that Ravi initiated a cell phone relationship with her and convinced her to send nude photos of herself to him and engaged in sexual dialogue with her over a period of time in 2016. That lawsuit was settled out of court with a non-disclosure agreement signed by both parties. I don’t want to get into too many of the details of the sexual, spiritual and financial abuse that Ravi engaged in because that is not what is important for us. What I want to delve into is the level of self-deception that Ravi entangled himself in because his behavior and his own distortion of truth was so egregious it bordered on the unbelievable.
In one part of the investigation, one of the massage therapists who Ravi was supporting financially (with donated funds from his ministry) reported that Ravi expected her to have sex with him because of his financial support. She described her encounters with him as rape. In addition she reports that Ravi asked her to pray to God with him. Here is the report that was commissioned by RZIM to look into the allegations of the abused women.
https://www.courthousenews.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/zacharias-report.pdf
One therapist further reported that she was struggling financially, and Mr. Zacharias offered to help pay for her schooling and monthly living expenses in addition to compensating her for the massages (see below in the discussion of Touch of Hope). She told us that “the more we saw each other the more he became comfortable and wanted to go further.” She told us she “felt obligated” to do what he asked because of the financial support he provided. In addition to these direct accounts, these and other witnesses claimed to know or to have heard of Mr. Zacharias’s abuse or attempted abuse of other massage therapists, but we did not credit such hearsay. Only one of the witnesses we interviewed said that Mr. Zacharias engaged in sexual intercourse. This witness reported details of many encounters over a period of years that she described as rape.
This behavior is totally inconsistent with someone who is speaking globally as a Christian apologist extolling the virtues of a life devoted to Christ. His lectures on truth and love are absolutely compelling. How can he reconcile his behavior with his ministry and his life’s work? Jesus said,
“Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”
Clearly this is a warning that we should guard our hearts. What is most fascinating to me about Ravi’s behavior is the grandiose and over the top lie that he told himself and probably told the women he was abusing. He saw himself as someone who was above everyone else and was entitled to engage in depravity because of the work he did for Jesus. It is an absolutely clear example of willful blindness and self-deception but taken to the extreme. When our hearts our overtaken by evil and desires of the flesh, we have no problem inventing lies and creating new ideas that are totally false. Here is an example,
Mr. Zacharias used religious expressions to gain compliance, as she was raised to be a person of faith. She reported that he made her pray with him to thank God for the “opportunity” they both received. She said he called her his “reward” for living a life of service to God, and he referenced the “godly men” in the Bible with more than one wife. She said he warned her not ever to speak out against him or she would be responsible for the “millions of souls” whose salvation would be lost if his reputation was damaged.
Notice how he used worldly ideas and attributed them to God. His “reward” for living a life of service was that Ravi was entitled to commit the sin of adultery with multiple women and he was granted sexual rewards for his work. He has essentially created his own religion. He had made himself a god and totally ignored scripture that says that those who are involved in ministry and who are leaders of the church are actually held to a much higher standard of behavior than the people being evangelized. Also we can see this behavior as a huge warning for all of us when it comes to the danger of entitlement.
Jesus warned us about leading others to sin,
“If anyone causes one of these little ones–those who believe in me–to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea. Mark 9:42
We also know from scripture that leaders and teachers of the faith are held to a higher standard of behavior,
Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.
James 3:1
An elder must be blameless, faithful to his wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient. Since an overseer manages God’s household, he must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.
Titus 1:5-9
Ramifications
This post is not about pointing fingers and judging men of faith or about gossip and sensationalism. Why am I choosing to write about this topic at this time? Because of the mixed bag of emotions many of us in the Christian community are feeling. There is anger and sadness because of the spiritual and sexual abuse that innocent victims endured. They were massage therapists doing their jobs just trying to make a living. Many of them were women of faith who were confused that such a great man of faith was doing this to them. At the same time there is empathy for Ravi’s wife, his son, his daughters and his grandchildren. They are the innocent victims of one man’s sexual desire totally overtaking his life. This has impacted hundreds of people. They are removing his books, videos and are dropping his name from the ministry. His entire family is shattered. Here is an excerpt from their statement,
It is with shattered hearts that we issue this statement about the allegations against RZIM’s Founder, Ravi Zacharias.
Following allegations made in late August of 2020 that Ravi had engaged in sexual misconduct and abuse in connection with two day spas, we commissioned Miller & Martin PLLC, a law firm with experience in corporate and sex crimes investigations, to conduct an independent investigation. The findings of this investigation and their public release will be devastating to Ravi’s wife, son, and daughters, and to his entire family. Our hearts are broken for them, and we grieve with the weight of being part of this unimaginable pain. We pray for the Zacharias family and mourn with them in this time of severe loss. It is our hope that they will receive the healing and restoration that God alone can provide.
Over the past few weeks I’ve been watching commentary from Christian leaders and apologists who felt the need to chime in and address this issue. It is clearly a huge black eye when it comes to the Christian apologist community. The responses have been scathing and much of them rightfully are loaded with anger and disgust. The one thing that keeps coming up in my mind is that this man spent forty years of hard work, blood and sweat to carefully and diligently build an effective and successful ministry. But it was destroyed by self-deception, a sense of entitlement, and a willingness to allow the desire of lust and sin to dominate his life. In the wake of his deceit, he has totally destroyed his legacy and created a world of shame, pain and suffering for the people he loved and valued most, his wife, his son and daughters and his grandchildren.
Self-Assessment
This is why spending time in the Word is so important. One of my favorite descriptions of the bible is when it is described as a mirror.
For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.
James 1:23-25
This is why the pursuit of truth is so important. This is why humility and a teachable attitude and the constant pursuit of wisdom and knowledge is so important. Let us not waste the pain that this entire ministry is undergoing and try to learn from the mistakes Ravi made. If we value our spouses and our children, we will examine our own lives looking for areas of self-deception. We will look for areas of pride or entitlement. This is a cautionary tale for anyone who calls themselves a Christian because clearly we have a responsibility to be a light to the world. Much of Ravi’s behavior was about concealment, hiding and lying, as the above report will attest to. This is the time to look at our own behavior. The pain that Ravi inflicted on so many people is overwhelming. We should do what we can to spread truth, be humble and more importantly,examine our own lives and behavior so as to avoid the kind of mistakes that could destroy our lives or the lives of the people we love most.