Brave The Wave

Category: Purpose

  • Dying While Vying For Attention

    Dying While Vying For Attention

     Dying For Attention

    People are dying for attention.  If we look at our own lives, we are engaged in continual, uninterrupted, relentless distraction. That is what we are dealing with in trying to raise our children. It is constant bombardment. Social media, advertising, television, reality shows, and movies. The competition for our attention is mind boggling. Now we have individuals all seeking attention on you tube, instagram and other social media sites. So instead of a few television shows and three networks as we had in the 1970s, we now have literally millions of tiny little reality tv shows in the form of you tube channels and instagram accounts with people posting enticements and excitement and the best pics they can find. People are literally dying while vying for your attention.

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2019/05/22/why-you-take-selfies-and-how-its-dangerous/3691366002/

    How do we contend with this in our children?  If we practice observation, we see adults and parents are getting sucked into the vortex of this phenomenon. I  see whole families at a restaurant all looking down at their cell phones not interacting on a personal level because they are enthralled with whoever they are “following”.

    Addiction or Harmless Activity ?

    This is a huge grand social experiment that no one has any idea what the repercussions will be. If someone suggests that they have a notion of the consequences of this experiment, they are lying.   No one knows what the outcome of all this will be.  We have to be honest with ourselves. If we stop to think about our own history, there probably hasn’t ever been such a focus on vying for the attention of other people in the history of our country. Can you think of any?

    In this grand social experiment, we have created a world where everyone is an entertainer. Everyone. If everyone becomes an entertainer, then there will be no one left to be the audience.

    The Power of Focus

    I was watching a documentary on Warren Buffet a few months ago and he was telling a story about how Bill Gates’s father sat Bill Gates  and Warren Buffet down and gave them a piece of paper. He told them, “write down the most important factor in your success, but don’t show each other what you wrote down.”  What was fascinating to me was that they both wrote the same word. FOCUS.

    When we think about our own lives and the successes we have had, most likely focus was involved.  If we are just bouncing around moving from one mindless activity to another, we lose focus. When we lose focus, we lose power.

    Why is this such a problem? Because prayer, meditation and our spiritual growth all require focus. Who smiles when we are distracted ? Only Satan. When we are constantly trying to get everyone to look at our lives, that circumvents our own pursuit of our purpose. It is subtraction by means of distraction. We lose our passion and our purpose when we are so busy observing and being entertained by the lives of others. We should really look at the value of blowing time watching other people’s lives.

    All who make idols are nothing, and the things they treasure are worthless. Those who would speak up for them are blind; they are ignorant, to their own shame. Who shapes a god and casts an idol, which can profit nothing? People who do that will be put to shame; such craftsmen are only human beings. Let them all come together and take their stand; they will be brought down to terror and shame.  The blacksmith takes a tool and works with it in the coals; he shapes an idol with hammers, he forges it with the might of his arm. He gets hungry and loses his strength; he drinks no water and grows faint. The carpenter measures with a line and makes an outline with a marker; he roughs it out with chisels and marks it with compasses. He shapes it in human form, human form in all its glory, that it may dwell in a shrine.                                                               (Isaiah 44:9-14  NLT)

      Could we be making our cell phones an idol? If we are devoting on average 6 to 8 hours a day to it, it would be hard to argue that it isn’t.  This is where self examination comes into play. Where is the value in following the activities or lives of others? How do we benefit and how do our children benefit from know the details of the lives of strangers?  That is an important question.

     

     

  • Near Death Experiences, New Life

    Near Death Experiences, New Life

    Near Neath Experiences, New Life

    Why study near death experiences ? What do they have to do with spiritual growth ?  I believe that there is a very good description of a near death experience in the bible:

    I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven- whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows. And I know that this man was caught up into paradise-whether in the body or out of the body I do not kinow, God knows- and he heard things that cannot be told, which man may not utter. On behalf of this man I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses- though if I should wish to boast, I would  not be a fool, for I would be speaking the truth; but I refrain from it, so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me.  So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited.      (2 Corinthians 12:2-7 ESV)

    That sounds like Paul was given special revelations to help with his ministry. Could these revelations be available to us? Yes, they are because we can learn a great deal about what has value in this life and what is worthless.

    When we are talking about spiritual growth and our authentic selves, we need spiritual help and guidance. Primarily we look to the Holy Spirit and the Word. This is where supernatural power lies as we are seeking guidance for our lives.

    As I have posted on this blog, there are many reasons to study NDEs, but one of the most important from own study and experience is that they are a source of spiritual guidance that we can’t find anywhere else.

    You can try psychedelic drugs or meditation or go into nature, but those experiences will not give you an idea of what happens after we die and they won’t give you an idea of what is valuable and worthwhile to pursue while we are in this life.

    Many people want to know what happens after we die,

    Why Study Near Death Experiences ? (What Happens When We Die)

     

    Many people have devoted their time, and energy and money to activities with little to no value,

    Why Study Near Death Experiences?: Because Everyone is Betting On Something

    Many people are paralyzed by fear and anxiety and their lives are controlled by fear and avoidance behavior,

    Afraid to Die, Too Scared to Live

    This is a biggie,  many people are searching for purpose or meaning in their lives.   In my book, Challenge Your Fear, Empower Your Spirit, I quote a study that shows that over 100 million Christians are still searching for meaning and purpose in their lives,

    “More than 100 million American adults who describe themselves as Christian contend that despite their commitment to God they are still searching for clarity regarding their purpose in life. Tens of millions of self-described Christians feel unfulfilled in life, admit they lack direction,and are disappointed that their faith has not produced the kind of meaning and identity they need, and question whether their life makes a difference.” George Barna, Maximum Faith[1]

    [1] Barna,George “Maximum Faith” Metainformation/SGG/WHCP; 1st edition (March 1,2011)p 10

    I belive that NDEs can help direct us towards finding purpose for our lives,

    Why Study Near Death Experiences? They Shine Light on Purpose and Meaning

    Are you interested in getting an idea what happens when we die ?   Are you looking for purpose and meaning in your life?  Are you overwhelmed with fear and anxiety ?  Do you have no passion or drive in your life ?

    If you explore the above blog posts, you will most likely get many ideas and find out things about yourself that you never knew.    The beauty of Near Death Experiences is that you can study the experience of others and it can still have a positive impact on your life without actually having the experience yourself.

    In addition, if you are studying the Word and are spending time studying biblical principles, you will recognize that many of the experiences that NDers have are consistent with the truth of the Word.

    If you want to explore this further there are book references in some of these posts that delve into that idea.

    The Eternity Problem

    One of the things that we can agree on is that if we believe in God and we believe that we are spirits who happen to have a body, then we share one huge problem. Eternity.

    Compared to our little problems related to Covid, food and fuel prices, climate change and all of our petty little troubles, when we face eternity, those little troubles become even smaller.

    This is all summed up in one of my favorite quotes when it comes to the Christianity:

    Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.   C.S. LEWIS

        If Christianity is true, then eternity is true and what we do on this earth has a direct impact on our eternity. Eternity is important because it is infinite.   Our eternity is also unique to us.

    How do we know that our eternities are unique?   Because what we believe and what we do impacts where we will spend eternity and what we will do in eternity. But these are OUR CHOICES.

    Many non-believers don’t believe in God because they can’t fathom a loving kind caring God sending us to a place of torture, pain and suffering.  They are mistaken.  God doesn’t send us anywhere.

    We choose our destiny when we embrace or ignore the sacrifice on the cross that Jesus endured for our salvation.  Hell is just the absence of everything that is God. It is total separation from God by our choice.

    God is love, so there is no love in hell. God is light, so hell is complete darkness. God is good, so there is absolutely nothing good in hell. God is life, so that means hell is eternal death. God is gracious, so that means there’s no grace in hell.

    Our Eternities are unique and what we do on this planet plays a role in how and where we spend eternity. When we accept Christ and turn our lives over to Him, we choose Heaven, but that is just the beginning of our journey.

    One thing that really caught my attention was an equation that I saw one time. It was an eye opener because it really puts our faith and our salvation in context.

    Salvation + Faith = Works
    Faith + Works = Salvation

    We can disagree on how faith and works are necessary for salvation or whether you can have salvation by faith alone, but if you look at both of these equations, works are a part of both. Deeds.  Bearing fruit. Hand to the plow. Taking action.  Whatever you believe, works or deeds play a role.

    Then He said to another man, “Follow Me.” The man replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”But Jesus told him, “Let the dead bury their own dead. You, however, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Still another said, “I will follow You, Lord; but first let me bid farewell to my family.”Then Jesus declared, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and then looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”

                                                                                                              ( Luke 9:59-62 NLT)

     

    “We are healed to help others. We are blessed to be a blessing. We are saved to serve, not to sit around and wait for heaven.”

    Rick Warren

    To sum up what Jesus is telling us and what Rick Warren is saying and what these equations are telling us is that we are saved by faith for something. For what ? For good works. We have assignments. God has a plan. It is a privilege and an honor to tell others about Jesus and how he offers a deal that no one can match.

    When we accept Jesus as our personal savior,

    1. Our sins are forgiven (huge)
    2. We have a purpose for living
    3. We have a home waiting for us in heaven

     “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe in Me as well.  In My Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and welcome you into My presence, so that you also may be where I am.  You know the way to the place where I am going.”

     “Lord,” said Thomas, “we do not know where You are going, so how can we know the way?”

    Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.  If you had known Me, you would know My Father as well. From now on you do know Him and have seen Him.”

                                                                                                              ( John 14:1-7 NLT)

    Based on the Barna research data introduced in the introduction, we know that the majority of believers ignore the second part of the deal, OUR PURPOSE.  This is bearing fruit. Taking action. Hand to the plow.  We want forgiveness and we want heaven, but we cross the bridge of purpose and pain to get there.  Purpose also protects us and provides the power we need for the journey.

    Near Death Experiences Remind Us Of Our Assignment

    The NDE can bring some valuable insight and some ideas that we haven’t even thought about as we are trying to figure out our own unique passions and gifts.  There are two unique and powerful principles outlined in this NDE that can really help us to home in on our own unique passion.  In “Lessons from the Light”, (1) this person who underwent an NDE describes what they learned from their experience:

    “One thing I (learned) was that we are ALL here to do an “assignment of love.” We don’t have to do it at all, or we can do as many as we like. It’s up to us.” Our “assignment” is programmed in at birth and it is the very thing or things we love most.”

      Look at this excerpt from “Brave The Wave”,

    There are many verses in the Bible that talk about our service and how we’re to use our time and gifts for the benefit of others. My favorite parable is the parable of the talents:

    For it [the kingdom of heaven] will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away.

    He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money.

    Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, “Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.” His master said to him, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.”

    And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, “Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.” His master said to him, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.”

    He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, “Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.” But his master answered him, “You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place, there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” (Matthew 25:14-30 ESV)

    From this parable, it’s clear that each of us has been given a gift or talent. Here’s a description of a “talent”:

    According to the New Nave’s Topical Bible, one who possessed five talents of gold or silver was a multimillionaire by today’s standards. Some calculate the talent in the parables to be equivalent to twenty years of wages for the common worker. Other scholars estimate more conservatively, valuing the New Testament talent somewhere between $1,000 to $30,000 dollars today.[i]

    In this parable, we can assume that Jesus was making a point about the value of the gifts we’re given. He chose a large sum of money that was given to each servant. In my humble, non-biblical-scholar opinion, he’s telling us that we’re each given a valuable gift to use, and then receive a return on that investment. He wants us to use our gifts and talents in serving and helping others. We’re to bear fruit. Our gifts and talents and even our passions and interests were given for the benefit of others, not ourselves.

    From the parable, we can see that some of us have one talent, some three talents, and some five. Those who are given more have more responsibility.

    Notice how Jesus says, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you [put you in charge] over much. Enter in the joy of your master.” He’s giving us an idea of the reward waiting for us if we use our talents, money, and gifts in ways that are wise. In ways that benefit others. We’ll be put in charge of much, and we’ll celebrate with Jesus in heaven. This is an illustration of our responsibility for our unique eternity.

    [i] https://www.thoughtco.com/what-is-a-talent-700699.

    This talent stuff is serious business.

     

    1. Kenneth Ring, Lessons from the Light (Needham, MA: Moment  Point Press, 2006 p. 47

     

     

     

     

  • You’re Only Powerless If You Believe You’re Powerless

    You’re Only Powerless If You Believe You’re Powerless

    You Are Only Powerless If You Believe You Are Powerless

    The key word here is believe. In my book “Brave the Wave” the focus was on what you think and what you believe and what you know. There has to be a transition from thinking to believing to knowing. You really do have access to power. The transition is what requires effort and time. Do you believe you are powerless?

    My second book is on passion, power and purpose. Who doesn’t want power? The essence and source of power comes from passion. It is a supernatural source. Our passion is a gift from God and is unique to us. In this book, I talk about what drove me to write,

    “Before we talk about supernatural power, I’d like us to look at our own unique passions. Is there anything that is burning deep inside you? Is there anything that you absolutely must do because if you don’t, you will die. Take the CAN’T NOT test. You can’t not do something or engage in some activity. That’s passion. Once discovered and developed, it can become a force in your life that drives you. Some people will say, “but I don’t have anything in my life that I am really passionate about.” Have you tried new things? I never dreamed or even thought about writing a book. I was telling my mom about all the things I had learned and had recorded in my spiritual journal and I told her, “mom, if I don’t write some of these ideas down and expand on them, my head will explode.” You see, there were no other options. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. That’s passion. Who knows if anyone will read this stuff, but at least, I’m getting it down.”

    I wrote that paragraph about a year ago. I was trying to capture the essence of passion. The book essentially wrote itself because of the nagging idea that was grating in the back of my head. How many people around me are actually engaged in passion? I’m talking about God given passion that is linked to purpose. Look around you. Look at all your family and friends and co-workers. If you have read “Brave the Wave”, you have developed some keen powers of observation.

    When we are engaged in passion, we have access to power. When you ignore your passion, you ignore your own power. Then you begin to believe you are powerless. If we link passion and power to purpose and inject discipline, we are closer to our authentic selves. The selves we were created to be.

    Passion, power, purpose

    I was just looking at a blog article from Ryan Holiday the author of the magnificent book “The Obstacle is the Way”. I highly recommend that book for people who are going through difficult circumstances. Look at what he wrote about the process of writing a book,

    Painters like painting, the saying goes, writers like having written.

    Are there exceptions to both sides of this rule? Of course. But anyone who has run the gauntlet and written a full-length book can tell you, it’s a grueling process.

    You wake up for weeks, months or years on end, and at the end of each working day you are essentially no closer to finishing than you were when you started. It’s particularly discouraging work because progress feels so elusive. Not to mention that the pages you find yourself looking at rarely match what was in your head.It’s for this reason that “wanting” to write a book is not enough. It’s not therapy. It’s not an “experience.” It’s hard f******* work.

    People who get it into their heads that they “may” have a book idea in them are not the ones who finish books. No, you write the book you HAVE to write or you will likely not write it at all. “Have” can take many forms, not just an idea you feel driven to get out. You know, Steig Larsson wrote the Dragon Tattoo series to pay for his and his wife’s retirement.

    If you honestly think you might be fine if you nixed the project and went on with your life as though the idea never occurred to you–then For The Love Of God, save yourself the anguish and do that. If, on the other hand, this idea keeps you up at night, it dominates your conversations and reading habits, if it feels like you’ll explode if you don’t get it all down, if your back is to the wall–then congratulations, it sounds like you’ve got a book in you.

    I include all this because I believe those are some good descriptors of passion.

    keeps you up at night

    dominates your conversations

    dominates your reading habits

    feels like you will explode if you don’t get it down

    For me personally, I wish I had a nickel for all the times I woke up at two in the morning and I had to get up to get some ideas down.

    Here are some other characteristics of passion that you may find useful to apply to other activities other than writing that you may or may not be engaged in.  I go into detail regarding each one in my second book on passion.

    Excitement (this tends to bring energy)

    Determination

    Positive attitude

    Perseverance

    Focus

    Resilience

    Infectious enthusiasm

    Servant’s heart

    Self-motivation

    Goal directed behavior

    These are the components of passion defined within the framework of our authentic selves. The selves we were created to be. Notice the inclusion of servant’s heart.   When I am talking about power and passion, I am talking about supernatural power that comes from our relationship with Jesus. It’s supernatural. It is awash in truth and love.

    The thing I found interesting is the word explode. I used the word explode describing my drive to write the book about passion because that is the only way to describe it. It was like a controlled fire or explosion deep inside of you. YOU MUST DO IT. If you don’t have a fire or an explosion deep inside, you are not tapping into power that is just waiting to be released. That is where the power lies. You may have to put effort into discovering that passion. I never knew that I had a passion to write until I tried it.  You are only powerless if you believe you are powerless.  You have access to power when you discover your passion. Which is a key to fulfilling your unique purpose.

    Listen to Dr Cavazos in the brand new Discover Your Authentic Self podcast !

    https://www.realmenconnect.com/podcast/episode/c5a4abaf/422-how-to-discover-your-authentic-self

     

  • Drifter, Spinner or Dabbler ?

    Drifter, Spinner or Dabbler ?

    Why are we so tired all the time ?  Why don’t we have any energy?  Why are there so many energy drinks on the market ?  I believe that the answer has to do with passion.  Here is an excerpt from my second book in the authentic self series.

     

       Think about being on a rubber raft in the middle of the Pacific ocean. You are the only survivor after the ship you were on capsized in a storm. You are out on the ocean and you have access to food rations and water. If you have no motor or paddle, you are just drifting and helpless. You are at the mercy of ocean currents and waves. You have no sail, no motor, no paddle, no compass, and no knowledge of how to navigate by the stars. That could be a description of how you are living your life at this very moment in time. Drifting. No guidance. No power. No direction. I’ve been there before. 

    Where would you start if you had the choice to acquire all of these? You may be the person in the raft who has a compass and you know the direction that you need to be headed, but you have no sail or no motor. No power. No energy. Or if you do, you can’t sustain it for very long. You paddle a little bit and you try to head in a particular direction, but you lose your drive or energy, so you give up.

    You may be a dabbler. Paddle a little bit, take a break. The definition of dabble is to “take part in an activity in a casual or superficial way.” If you think about being stranded in a rubber dinghy on the ocean, if you dabble, you die. If we don’t take our passion or our purpose seriously, we will tend to dabble. You may be a dabbler. I’ve been there also.   

       What if we have a huge motor and plenty of power, but we have no compass or rudder? We may start off going in a one direction, but without a compass or a rudder, over time we could just be navigating in circles. We are spending huge amounts of time, energy and effort, but we aren’t really making any progress at all. I’ve been there also.  I’ve had plenty of energy, but I was wasting it on activities, projects or pursuits that had very little to no value whatsoever. That is kind of like puttering around in circles, but getting nowhere.

    The thing that is the most interesting or disturbing, depending on how you look at it, is that I didn’t have any idea that I was wasting my time, energy and money. That is being in the raft going in circles and being completely unaware that you are.  If the power or the energy is unfocused and not heading toward any one point, that power is wasted. Not only is it wasted, but it leaves you prone to exhaustion and frustration.  There is no fulfillment, no satisfaction, no peace and no joy. This is what I call the spinning phase of my life.   It’s like being in a four-wheel drive truck.  You have plenty of gas and a big engine.  You are flooring the gas pedal but you aren’t getting anywhere. You are in very deep mud.  You’re spinning your tires, but not only are you not going anywhere, you’re sinking deeper and deeper into the mud. Spinning your wheels for the sake of spinning your wheels. Lots of noise. No movement. You may be a spinner.

    I believe our energy comes from passion. The thing that we were created to do. The thing that we “can’t not” do.  When we combine passion with purpose, we have power, guidance, and focus. Those in combination make it much more likely that we can reach our goals and fulfill our purpose.  We discover  our authentic self when we are engaged in our passion moving towards completion of our purpose. We are living and striving towards the pursuits, purpose and goal that God had in mind when he thought us up and designed us. We are exactly where we are supposed to be.

     

  • Boredom Is A CHOICE

    Boredom Is A CHOICE

    In my book “Brave The Wave”,  I quote someone who I remember saying, “well, honestly my life is not very interesting.” This person was explaining why they spent so much time looking at social media and Instagram. It is really evidence of the phenomenon that we are currently seeing everywhere in this country. “Life watching”.  Either watching people live out their lives or trying everything we can to get other people to watch our lives.    Here is an excerpt from “Brave The Wave”,

    Joseph Campbell said, “We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”

    I’ve heard people say, “Well, my life’s not very interesting.” But we have the choice to discover, explore, and seek our unique gifts and talents to use in this life, which makes life interesting, exciting, and worth living to our fullest potential. It’s our responsibility, because no one’s going to do it for us. We can make our own lives as boring or as interesting as we choose.

    We can choose to spend time merely “life watching.” We’re free to learn as many details of other people’s lives as we can, but we aren’t free from the consequences of that choice. We should remember the truth. We know the truth from the Bible, one that’s reaffirmed in NDEs ( near death experiences) : we’ll be held accountable for how we lived our life. We won’t be asked about or shown anything from anyone else’s life.

    Boredom isn’t part of the plan. Boredom is our own fault. It’s the unwillingness to explore our unique and authentic selves. It’s our unwillingness to examine our passions. We’re never bored when we pursue activities and actions that fully realize our individual uniqueness and authenticity.

    We need to remember that what other people are doing is not our business. We may be watching other people become who they were meant to be, while we’re wasting time ourselves in not discovering and realizing our own full potential.

    Whenever we feel bored or we feel the need to be “entertained”, that is an opportunity. An opportunity for discovery. It’s an opportunity to move closer to our authentic self.

     

  • A List Of Regrets

    A List Of Regrets

    When we talk about clarity, there is one moment or one time in our lives when we can see the most clearly. That is around the time of death. When we know that our time is limited and we can see the finish line,  that is when we can see the things that  have the most value.  In Brave the Wave, I talk about an experience I had talking to a young AIDS patient when he was at this point,

    I’ll never forget sitting on the floor of a hospital room talking to a twenty-year old AIDS patient. I was a young medical student doing clinical training. He told me that when you know you’re going to die, and you don’t have much time left, “you think about death one hundred or two hundred times a day.” Then he started crying, and said, “I’ve never been this scared in my entire life.” He died about three days later. Wish I would have known then what I know now.

     That kind of reminds me of the Tim McGraw song “Live Like You Were Dying”.  The scene above happened decades ago, but I still remember that young man. I wish I could live that scene again so that I could talk to him about faith and the love of Jesus. That is one regret that I think about among others. The thing that may be useful for us on this journey is to think about our own deaths, not “one hundred or two hundred times a day”, but at least once or twice.

    Below is a list of regrets that were compiled from hospice patients.  This is from the book “Resisting Happiness” by Matthew Kelly. This is a good list to look at, and take inventory of, for pretty much everyone on the planet. We need to think about these things when we are healthy and happy, not when we are at the end of our lives. This is a good list for weekly if not daily review. Notice though that most of these regrets have to do with relationships. Other people.   Also many of the regrets are inaction regrets. Not action regrets.  There are good studies to show that the majority of the regrets people have at the end of their lives (eighty percent) are inaction regrets. We can see from this list, that inaction is what people focus on. I took the liberty of adding in common themes or ideas that my upcoming books and blog posts will focus on. Those topics are in parentheses, after the listed regrets.

     

    I wish I’d had the courage to just be myself.      (authentic self)

    I wish I’d spent more time with the people I love.   (relationships)

    I wish I’d made spirituality more of a priority.   (authentic self)

    I wish I hadn’t spent so much time working.     (authentic self)

    I wish I’d discovered my purpose earlier.  (authentic self)

    I wish I’d learned to express my feelings more.   (loving others, relationships)

    I wish I hadn’t spent so much time worrying about things that never happened.   (fear)

    I wish I’d taken more risks.  (fear)

    I wish I’d cared less about what other people thought.   (fear, opinion of others)

    I wish I’d realized earlier that happiness is a choice.  (authentic self)

    I wish I’d loved more.    (relationships, love)

    I wish I’d been a better spouse.   (relationships, love)

    I wish I’d taken better care of myself.    (passion, power)

    I wish I’d paid less attention to what other people expect.    (fear, opinion of others)

    I wish I’d quit my job and found something else I really enjoyed doing.   (authentic self)

    I wish I would have stayed in touch with old friends.   (relationships, love)

    I wish I’d touched more lives.    (authentic self, loving others)

    I wish I hadn’t spent so much time chasing the wrong things.    (passion, purpose)

    I wish I’d had more children.  (relationships)

    I wish I’d traveled more.   (passion, purpose)

    I wish I’d thought about life’s big questions earlier.  (authentic self, loving others)

    I wish I’d lived more in the moment.   (passion, purpose)

    I wish I’d pursued more of my dreams.  (passion, purpose)

    I wish I’d spoken my mind more.    (fear, opinion of others)

    Hopefully some of these ideas will become “sticky”.   If you come across an idea that is unique, or valuable or you see as a threat, it will capture your attention. It will spark or kindle a small flame. When we have a small flame in a tiny pile of kindling, we are in business. But it takes effort and time to nurture and grow that flame.

    Looking at this list not only reminds us that we should spend more time and effort on relationships and loving others, it also gives us clues as to what should be the focus of our lives. Clearly it’s relationships.

    Also there are themes of not fulfilling our full potential.   Not pursuing our passion or purpose.

    What is interesting about this list is  what is missing.

    I wish I spent more time watching television or on social media ?   Not there.

    I wish I had spent less time reading the bible or in church services or growing, developing my faith?  Not there.

    There is real value in a list like this. It gives us the answers to a test that hasn’t even been handed out yet.

     

     

     

  • Embrace Your Weird

    Embrace Your Weird

    What pops into your head when you think of the weird ? Weird is defined by unusual, mysterious, supernatural or otherworldly. I’m weird. You’re weird. You are supernatural, unusual and mysterious. We all have a supernatural side to us that we each have a capacity to get into touch with and into tune with. We are all spiritual beings. We are spirits surrounded by a physical body. So we have a dual type of existence. If you have no inkling or desire or belief in the spiritual side of your life, you are missing out on the most exciting, enjoyable and mesmerizing way to live. Spiritual experiences are the most fascinating, fun and engrossing experiences that we can have and they are available to each and every one of us.  Look at this excerpt from “Brave the Wave”

    There’s significant power in the study of NDEs as we learn to discover and develop our spiritual senses, because every experience that’s documented is an experience in “the spirit.” There’s power when we can begin to think of NDEs as total and full descriptive experiences of people fully engaged in their spirit. NDEs are unique experiences because there’s a total absence of the flesh or the body. You can try to get in tune with your own spirit by escaping your body, but good luck with that. I use the term flesh because that’s our tie into biblical doctrine. The bridge to the past. People who experience an NDE are separated from the body because the body is dead or incapable of functioning. It’s an actual glimpse of the world that’s outside our bodies. These experiences occurred only when the person’s spirit was freed from the confines of the human body. They don’t always occur at the point of death; some people have them during anesthesia or at other times. This allows us to get a peek into the spiritual world that surrounds us.

    Now look at what Jesus says about the Spirit.  Here is another excerpt from Brave The Wave,

    “truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”

    Nicodemus said to him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?”

    Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is Spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” (John 3:3-7 ESV)

    There’s a flashing neon sign on this one. It’s not difficult to see. When Jesus starts letting loose with the “truly, truly,” pay attention. He says “truly” four times here. How much more of a signal do we need? Sometimes it comes down to plain old fairness and common sense. Jesus is going out of his way to tell us and show us what’s important.

     

    How does this relate to our authentic self? Your true authenticity is found on a continuum. I describe it in my second book on power and passion. True authenticity is defined and developed on the spiritual side of life. When we focus on the fleshly, we are focused on the worldly. We need to e-valu-ate activities that focus on the fleshly or worldly side of life because there is limited power and limited value in things that don’t last. We may be focusing all of our time and energy on things with limited value. Things that are here and gone in a few years.   The temporary.  Focusing on the eternal has infinitely more value.

    I love focusing on the weird because it’s fascinating, exciting and rewarding. The spiritual life is focused on the unseen. The eternal and the unseen.  Being able to see the unseen is mesmerizing. Look at this verse.

    “Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”
    (2 Corinthians 4: 16-18 NLT)

    Getting a glimpse of the unseen is what this whole thing is about. We need to move closer to our authentic selves in order to see the unseen. This is the self that God created us to be. It is a movement toward Jesus. Toward love. Toward power. Toward peace. Toward Joy. “Brave the Wave”, is the first step toward authenticity. We all have many more steps to take. Me too.

    We Ride !!!