Seek To Be Admired? Or To Inspire.
Do you seek to be admired or do you want to inspire? People may criticize me for the tone of my writing. It may come across as simplistic or sophomoric. The overriding goal is connection. Have you noticed when you are reading non-fiction books, sometimes the author will mention an experience or a situation that you can immediately identify with? That happens to me all the time. If my writing is simplistic, it’s because I’m more interested in connecting, not impressing. I want to be inspired when I read a book. I hope to inspire when I write or develop an idea.
Writing is about communication. It’s about expressing ideas that have value. Here is an idea that I believe has value because of what is going on in the world today. Just yesterday I heard a unique idea. It was from Lady Gaga. It’s the first time I heard it and I scoured the internet and could not find it anywhere. She said, “Frankly, I believe that social media is the toilet of the internet.”
What do you think about that comment? Is that true?
Look at what Selena Gomez said about socal media. Keep in mind that she has 150 million followers. ”
“Gomez said too much screen time on Instagram made her “kind of depressed looking at these people who look beautiful and amazing, and it would just get me down a lot, so I just think taking breaks is really important.”
Look at these two pictures. Think about how they make you feel. Do they make you happy? Do you feel good about yourself and your own situation? Are you thinking to yourself, “Oh, seeing these people with money and relaxing and enjoying themselves really made my day! I can now go back to work in my cubicle and deal with customers and be loving and patient and joyful !!!” Are you inspired?
We know that the internet is inundated with pictures and selfies and click bait, but do those pictures inspire people? Do they inspire us to be better ? To do better? It’s pretty easy to see the effort energy and time being devoted to inspire envy in others or to impress other people. It’s everywhere. Social media? If it’s really the toilet of the internet, are we swimming in it?
We have become a nation of entertainers. “Look at me!”. Think about the number of pictures where people are essentially saying, “look at me !! I bet you want to be me.” You may be saying, “those things are harmless. People are just sharing. It’s no big deal.” Really ?
The Downside of Social Media
I think we need to be careful with spending time trying to impress or inspire envy. When we envy, we covet. We want or desire what others have. The exact opposite of what lies within the authentic self. We are also insulting God when we envy. It’s kind of similar to saying that he made a mistake with what he gave us. That’s exactly what lies in the “false or socially conditioned self.”
There are some very concerning statistics that are just coming to the forfront of social science and that is the rate of suicide. The number of people committing suicide is increasing across ALL age groups. These numbers are real and we should all be concerned about them. Especially if you have children. Look at this excerpt from my second book on passion and power,
If we take a step back and observe the phenomenon of social media, we need to look at how this is affecting our society and our children. We know that the incidence of suicide has been rising over the past twenty years and many people are speculating as to the cause.
https://www.thehealthscience.com/articles/cdc-suicide-rates-rising-across-us
“Between 1999 and 2016, the suicide rate increased among all age groups younger than 75 years,” said Anne Schuchat, MD, principal deputy director of the CDC, who led a media briefing on the topic Thursday. The rates have gone up more than 30% in half of all states since 1999, she says. More than half of those who died by suicide did not have a diagnosed mental health condition, the researchers found. But most did have life problems. “Those who died by suicide were somewhat more likely to struggle with relationship problems or loss, other life stresses, or deal with impending crises,” Schuchat says. “But these issues were [found] in all, with or without a mental health condition.”
Looking at recent societal trends and the impact that social media has on our youth and in today’s society, it is easy to see how people can become anxious or depressed. If we are spending more and more time on social media, then we can infer that we spend less time developing healthy and meaningful relationships in a real and personal way.
Connectivity in “real life” is what I am talking about. Real conversation and sharing. Being actively involved in a deep and meaningful way with friends and family. Sharing struggles, triumphs, tragedies and trials. That is how Jesus intended for us to live.
It seems that there is more effort and energy expended in seeking to have superficial or artificial interactions with people who, if we are being honest with ourselves, we don’t even know. If you spend a lot of time following celebrities, ask yourself “Did I get invited to their wedding?” We need to ask ourselves, “what is the value of knowing every detail of the lives of an athlete, rapper, internet celebrity or reality television star?” What is the value of knowing the details of anyone else’s life other than the people closest to you?
If our whole reason for existence is learning how to love, how is that helpful? How many people do you follow on instagram or twitter or any other social media platform? What are you getting out of that interaction? It really isn’t an interaction, it’s more of a performance. They are posting videos or pictures and you are consuming or watching them. Are you able to share your deepest hurts or fears or concerns with a celebrity or a famous social media person? Is it a two-way street or is it only one way?
The Danger Is Real
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/social-medias-impact-on-self-esteem_us_58ade038e4b0d818c4f0a4e4
“Social media has been linked to higher levels of loneliness, envy, anxiety, depression, narcissism and decreased social skills. As a Behavioral Scientist, I wonder what causes this paradox? The narratives we share and portray on social media are all positive and celebratory. It’s a hybridized digital version of “Keeping up with the Joneses”. Meaning for some, sometimes it appears everyone you know are in great relationships, taking 5-star vacations and living your dream life. However, what is shared across our social networks only broadcasts the positive aspects of our lives-the highlight reels. Since we’re only getting people’s highlight reels and comparing it to ourselves, it is natural to have reactions to what we’re watching. How does this impact relationships, dating and our love lives? I conducted in-depth interviews with men and women, ranging from ages 28-73, that are active social media users and found that:
60% of people using social media reported that it has impacted their self-esteem in a negative way
50% reported social media having negative effects on their relationships
80% reported that is easier to be deceived by others through their sharing on social media
Match reported 51% say social media has made them feel more self-conscious about their appearance. Flores further explains “research has also shown that Face book users are becoming increasingly depressed from comparing themselves to their own profile.
Meaning that if a person’s reality does not match the digital illusion they post on their profiles, emotionally, one may feel they are not living up to the “best” form of themselves.”
Where is Our Authentic Self?
There is that “best” version of ourselves idea floating around again. I believe that there is an objective idea of our authentic self. It is the idea that God had in mind when he created us. In order to find authenticity, we need to move towards our role model. Jesus. True authenticity is found in our relationship with him.
If we are working to get people to envy us, we are firmly in the land of pride. We want to avoid pride like the plague. Pride kills relationships. Pride kills love.
When we are prideful, we are focusing on us, not others. It’s the exact opposite of love. When we focus on love, by it’s very nature we are focusing on others. Look at your latest argument with a spouse or a child or a sibling. If you look closely, most likely there is pride, immaturity or selfishness involved. Ask yourself, “was I being immature?” “Was I being selfish or prideful?” Start with you. Our most natural instinct is to find the fault and pin the blame on someone else.
Pride kills the classroom or laboratory of love.
Relationships and love are the essence of authenticity. If we seek to help instead of impress, that brings or yields value. Fruit. It means that my time and my effort were not wasted because the focus is on someone else. It’s the exact opposite of pride.