Brave The Wave

Category: Authentic Self

  • Near Death Experiences, New Life

    Near Death Experiences, New Life

    Near Neath Experiences, New Life

    Why study near death experiences ? What do they have to do with spiritual growth ?  I believe that there is a very good description of a near death experience in the bible:

    I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven- whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows. And I know that this man was caught up into paradise-whether in the body or out of the body I do not kinow, God knows- and he heard things that cannot be told, which man may not utter. On behalf of this man I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses- though if I should wish to boast, I would  not be a fool, for I would be speaking the truth; but I refrain from it, so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me.  So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited.      (2 Corinthians 12:2-7 ESV)

    That sounds like Paul was given special revelations to help with his ministry. Could these revelations be available to us? Yes, they are because we can learn a great deal about what has value in this life and what is worthless.

    When we are talking about spiritual growth and our authentic selves, we need spiritual help and guidance. Primarily we look to the Holy Spirit and the Word. This is where supernatural power lies as we are seeking guidance for our lives.

    As I have posted on this blog, there are many reasons to study NDEs, but one of the most important from own study and experience is that they are a source of spiritual guidance that we can’t find anywhere else.

    You can try psychedelic drugs or meditation or go into nature, but those experiences will not give you an idea of what happens after we die and they won’t give you an idea of what is valuable and worthwhile to pursue while we are in this life.

    Many people want to know what happens after we die,

    Why Study Near Death Experiences ? (What Happens When We Die)

     

    Many people have devoted their time, and energy and money to activities with little to no value,

    Why Study Near Death Experiences?: Because Everyone is Betting On Something

    Many people are paralyzed by fear and anxiety and their lives are controlled by fear and avoidance behavior,

    Afraid to Die, Too Scared to Live

    This is a biggie,  many people are searching for purpose or meaning in their lives.   In my book, Challenge Your Fear, Empower Your Spirit, I quote a study that shows that over 100 million Christians are still searching for meaning and purpose in their lives,

    “More than 100 million American adults who describe themselves as Christian contend that despite their commitment to God they are still searching for clarity regarding their purpose in life. Tens of millions of self-described Christians feel unfulfilled in life, admit they lack direction,and are disappointed that their faith has not produced the kind of meaning and identity they need, and question whether their life makes a difference.” George Barna, Maximum Faith[1]

    [1] Barna,George “Maximum Faith” Metainformation/SGG/WHCP; 1st edition (March 1,2011)p 10

    I belive that NDEs can help direct us towards finding purpose for our lives,

    Why Study Near Death Experiences? They Shine Light on Purpose and Meaning

    Are you interested in getting an idea what happens when we die ?   Are you looking for purpose and meaning in your life?  Are you overwhelmed with fear and anxiety ?  Do you have no passion or drive in your life ?

    If you explore the above blog posts, you will most likely get many ideas and find out things about yourself that you never knew.    The beauty of Near Death Experiences is that you can study the experience of others and it can still have a positive impact on your life without actually having the experience yourself.

    In addition, if you are studying the Word and are spending time studying biblical principles, you will recognize that many of the experiences that NDers have are consistent with the truth of the Word.

    If you want to explore this further there are book references in some of these posts that delve into that idea.

    The Eternity Problem

    One of the things that we can agree on is that if we believe in God and we believe that we are spirits who happen to have a body, then we share one huge problem. Eternity.

    Compared to our little problems related to Covid, food and fuel prices, climate change and all of our petty little troubles, when we face eternity, those little troubles become even smaller.

    This is all summed up in one of my favorite quotes when it comes to the Christianity:

    Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.   C.S. LEWIS

        If Christianity is true, then eternity is true and what we do on this earth has a direct impact on our eternity. Eternity is important because it is infinite.   Our eternity is also unique to us.

    How do we know that our eternities are unique?   Because what we believe and what we do impacts where we will spend eternity and what we will do in eternity. But these are OUR CHOICES.

    Many non-believers don’t believe in God because they can’t fathom a loving kind caring God sending us to a place of torture, pain and suffering.  They are mistaken.  God doesn’t send us anywhere.

    We choose our destiny when we embrace or ignore the sacrifice on the cross that Jesus endured for our salvation.  Hell is just the absence of everything that is God. It is total separation from God by our choice.

    God is love, so there is no love in hell. God is light, so hell is complete darkness. God is good, so there is absolutely nothing good in hell. God is life, so that means hell is eternal death. God is gracious, so that means there’s no grace in hell.

    Our Eternities are unique and what we do on this planet plays a role in how and where we spend eternity. When we accept Christ and turn our lives over to Him, we choose Heaven, but that is just the beginning of our journey.

    One thing that really caught my attention was an equation that I saw one time. It was an eye opener because it really puts our faith and our salvation in context.

    Salvation + Faith = Works
    Faith + Works = Salvation

    We can disagree on how faith and works are necessary for salvation or whether you can have salvation by faith alone, but if you look at both of these equations, works are a part of both. Deeds.  Bearing fruit. Hand to the plow. Taking action.  Whatever you believe, works or deeds play a role.

    Then He said to another man, “Follow Me.” The man replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”But Jesus told him, “Let the dead bury their own dead. You, however, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Still another said, “I will follow You, Lord; but first let me bid farewell to my family.”Then Jesus declared, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and then looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”

                                                                                                              ( Luke 9:59-62 NLT)

     

    “We are healed to help others. We are blessed to be a blessing. We are saved to serve, not to sit around and wait for heaven.”

    Rick Warren

    To sum up what Jesus is telling us and what Rick Warren is saying and what these equations are telling us is that we are saved by faith for something. For what ? For good works. We have assignments. God has a plan. It is a privilege and an honor to tell others about Jesus and how he offers a deal that no one can match.

    When we accept Jesus as our personal savior,

    1. Our sins are forgiven (huge)
    2. We have a purpose for living
    3. We have a home waiting for us in heaven

     “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe in Me as well.  In My Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and welcome you into My presence, so that you also may be where I am.  You know the way to the place where I am going.”

     “Lord,” said Thomas, “we do not know where You are going, so how can we know the way?”

    Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.  If you had known Me, you would know My Father as well. From now on you do know Him and have seen Him.”

                                                                                                              ( John 14:1-7 NLT)

    Based on the Barna research data introduced in the introduction, we know that the majority of believers ignore the second part of the deal, OUR PURPOSE.  This is bearing fruit. Taking action. Hand to the plow.  We want forgiveness and we want heaven, but we cross the bridge of purpose and pain to get there.  Purpose also protects us and provides the power we need for the journey.

    Near Death Experiences Remind Us Of Our Assignment

    The NDE can bring some valuable insight and some ideas that we haven’t even thought about as we are trying to figure out our own unique passions and gifts.  There are two unique and powerful principles outlined in this NDE that can really help us to home in on our own unique passion.  In “Lessons from the Light”, (1) this person who underwent an NDE describes what they learned from their experience:

    “One thing I (learned) was that we are ALL here to do an “assignment of love.” We don’t have to do it at all, or we can do as many as we like. It’s up to us.” Our “assignment” is programmed in at birth and it is the very thing or things we love most.”

      Look at this excerpt from “Brave The Wave”,

    There are many verses in the Bible that talk about our service and how we’re to use our time and gifts for the benefit of others. My favorite parable is the parable of the talents:

    For it [the kingdom of heaven] will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away.

    He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money.

    Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, “Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.” His master said to him, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.”

    And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, “Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.” His master said to him, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.”

    He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, “Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.” But his master answered him, “You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place, there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” (Matthew 25:14-30 ESV)

    From this parable, it’s clear that each of us has been given a gift or talent. Here’s a description of a “talent”:

    According to the New Nave’s Topical Bible, one who possessed five talents of gold or silver was a multimillionaire by today’s standards. Some calculate the talent in the parables to be equivalent to twenty years of wages for the common worker. Other scholars estimate more conservatively, valuing the New Testament talent somewhere between $1,000 to $30,000 dollars today.[i]

    In this parable, we can assume that Jesus was making a point about the value of the gifts we’re given. He chose a large sum of money that was given to each servant. In my humble, non-biblical-scholar opinion, he’s telling us that we’re each given a valuable gift to use, and then receive a return on that investment. He wants us to use our gifts and talents in serving and helping others. We’re to bear fruit. Our gifts and talents and even our passions and interests were given for the benefit of others, not ourselves.

    From the parable, we can see that some of us have one talent, some three talents, and some five. Those who are given more have more responsibility.

    Notice how Jesus says, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you [put you in charge] over much. Enter in the joy of your master.” He’s giving us an idea of the reward waiting for us if we use our talents, money, and gifts in ways that are wise. In ways that benefit others. We’ll be put in charge of much, and we’ll celebrate with Jesus in heaven. This is an illustration of our responsibility for our unique eternity.

    [i] https://www.thoughtco.com/what-is-a-talent-700699.

    This talent stuff is serious business.

     

    1. Kenneth Ring, Lessons from the Light (Needham, MA: Moment  Point Press, 2006 p. 47

     

     

     

     

  • You’re Only Powerless If You Believe You’re Powerless

    You’re Only Powerless If You Believe You’re Powerless

    You Are Only Powerless If You Believe You Are Powerless

    The key word here is believe. In my book “Brave the Wave” the focus was on what you think and what you believe and what you know. There has to be a transition from thinking to believing to knowing. You really do have access to power. The transition is what requires effort and time. Do you believe you are powerless?

    My second book is on passion, power and purpose. Who doesn’t want power? The essence and source of power comes from passion. It is a supernatural source. Our passion is a gift from God and is unique to us. In this book, I talk about what drove me to write,

    “Before we talk about supernatural power, I’d like us to look at our own unique passions. Is there anything that is burning deep inside you? Is there anything that you absolutely must do because if you don’t, you will die. Take the CAN’T NOT test. You can’t not do something or engage in some activity. That’s passion. Once discovered and developed, it can become a force in your life that drives you. Some people will say, “but I don’t have anything in my life that I am really passionate about.” Have you tried new things? I never dreamed or even thought about writing a book. I was telling my mom about all the things I had learned and had recorded in my spiritual journal and I told her, “mom, if I don’t write some of these ideas down and expand on them, my head will explode.” You see, there were no other options. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. That’s passion. Who knows if anyone will read this stuff, but at least, I’m getting it down.”

    I wrote that paragraph about a year ago. I was trying to capture the essence of passion. The book essentially wrote itself because of the nagging idea that was grating in the back of my head. How many people around me are actually engaged in passion? I’m talking about God given passion that is linked to purpose. Look around you. Look at all your family and friends and co-workers. If you have read “Brave the Wave”, you have developed some keen powers of observation.

    When we are engaged in passion, we have access to power. When you ignore your passion, you ignore your own power. Then you begin to believe you are powerless. If we link passion and power to purpose and inject discipline, we are closer to our authentic selves. The selves we were created to be.

    Passion, power, purpose

    I was just looking at a blog article from Ryan Holiday the author of the magnificent book “The Obstacle is the Way”. I highly recommend that book for people who are going through difficult circumstances. Look at what he wrote about the process of writing a book,

    Painters like painting, the saying goes, writers like having written.

    Are there exceptions to both sides of this rule? Of course. But anyone who has run the gauntlet and written a full-length book can tell you, it’s a grueling process.

    You wake up for weeks, months or years on end, and at the end of each working day you are essentially no closer to finishing than you were when you started. It’s particularly discouraging work because progress feels so elusive. Not to mention that the pages you find yourself looking at rarely match what was in your head.It’s for this reason that “wanting” to write a book is not enough. It’s not therapy. It’s not an “experience.” It’s hard f******* work.

    People who get it into their heads that they “may” have a book idea in them are not the ones who finish books. No, you write the book you HAVE to write or you will likely not write it at all. “Have” can take many forms, not just an idea you feel driven to get out. You know, Steig Larsson wrote the Dragon Tattoo series to pay for his and his wife’s retirement.

    If you honestly think you might be fine if you nixed the project and went on with your life as though the idea never occurred to you–then For The Love Of God, save yourself the anguish and do that. If, on the other hand, this idea keeps you up at night, it dominates your conversations and reading habits, if it feels like you’ll explode if you don’t get it all down, if your back is to the wall–then congratulations, it sounds like you’ve got a book in you.

    I include all this because I believe those are some good descriptors of passion.

    keeps you up at night

    dominates your conversations

    dominates your reading habits

    feels like you will explode if you don’t get it down

    For me personally, I wish I had a nickel for all the times I woke up at two in the morning and I had to get up to get some ideas down.

    Here are some other characteristics of passion that you may find useful to apply to other activities other than writing that you may or may not be engaged in.  I go into detail regarding each one in my second book on passion.

    Excitement (this tends to bring energy)

    Determination

    Positive attitude

    Perseverance

    Focus

    Resilience

    Infectious enthusiasm

    Servant’s heart

    Self-motivation

    Goal directed behavior

    These are the components of passion defined within the framework of our authentic selves. The selves we were created to be. Notice the inclusion of servant’s heart.   When I am talking about power and passion, I am talking about supernatural power that comes from our relationship with Jesus. It’s supernatural. It is awash in truth and love.

    The thing I found interesting is the word explode. I used the word explode describing my drive to write the book about passion because that is the only way to describe it. It was like a controlled fire or explosion deep inside of you. YOU MUST DO IT. If you don’t have a fire or an explosion deep inside, you are not tapping into power that is just waiting to be released. That is where the power lies. You may have to put effort into discovering that passion. I never knew that I had a passion to write until I tried it.  You are only powerless if you believe you are powerless.  You have access to power when you discover your passion. Which is a key to fulfilling your unique purpose.

    Listen to Dr Cavazos in the brand new Discover Your Authentic Self podcast !

    https://www.realmenconnect.com/podcast/episode/c5a4abaf/422-how-to-discover-your-authentic-self

     

  • Those Voices Are Lying

    Those Voices Are Lying

    Those Voices Are Lying

    You may be walking around with a tape loop playing in the background of your brain. It’s a loop of comments made by people from your past. “You aren’t smart enough.”  “You aren’t good enough.”  “You will never make it.” “You don’t have the talent to do that.” Some of those loops were created by you. When those loops are telling you that you are helpless, hopeless and worthless, those are all lies. Those voices are lying.

    Coaches, teachers, parents, spouses,siblings, and friends may have created some of those loops. The comments that hurt the most or have the most impact are from those closest to you. People who you care about the most. People who you love the most cut the deepest when their comments are unkind or demeaning. They leave the deepest scars. I’ve ridden that roller coaster also, so I am well aware of this phenomenon.  Those voices are lying.

    How do we deal with these loops? We need to come to the realization that humans are human. We all say and do stupid things all the time.

    The Only Voice That Matters

    Instead of focusing on what other people say about us or the opinion of others, we can learn to focus on the opinion of Jesus. He never said anything or did anything stupid. His opinion has the most value. He never has and  never will make a mistake.  Jesus says that you have hope, you have value and you have power.  Look at this excerpt from the near death experience of Howard Storm that he describes in his book, “My Descent Into Death”,

    I felt like garbage, filthy rags in the presence of the Holy One. My friend carrying me, Jesus, my best friend, was aware of my fear and reluctance and shame. I thought to myself, “I’m scum that belongs back down in the sewer. They’ve made a terrible mistake. I don’t belong here.” For the first time, he spoke. He spoke directly to my mind in his young male voice. “We don’t make mistakes, and you do belong here.”

    When we come to recognize the value of the opinion of Jesus and we begin to see ourselves the way that he does, we come to understand that we are valuable, acceptable, lovable and forgivable.  We also have power, hope and a future. We need to put the opinions of Jesus in the foreground of our minds. We need to remember that the loops of negativity that are playing over and over in your head are straight up lies. The loops are lying to you. Those voices are lying.

    Listen instead to Jesus,

    “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”

    John 10:10 NLT

    A rich and satisfying life.  Listen to Jesus.

     

  • Seek To Be Admired? Or To Inspire.

    Seek To Be Admired? Or To Inspire.

    Seek To Be Admired? Or To Inspire.

    Do you seek to be admired or do you want to inspire? People may criticize me for the tone of my writing. It may come across as simplistic or sophomoric. The overriding goal is connection. Have you noticed when you are reading non-fiction books, sometimes the author will mention an experience or a situation that you can immediately identify with? That happens to me all the time.  If my writing is simplistic, it’s because I’m more interested in connecting, not impressing.  I want to be inspired when I read a book.  I hope to inspire when I write or develop an idea.

    Writing is about communication. It’s about expressing ideas that have value.  Here is an idea that I believe has value because of what is going on in the world today. Just yesterday I heard a unique idea. It was from Lady Gaga. It’s the first time I heard it and I scoured the internet and could not find it anywhere.  She said,  “Frankly, I believe that social media is the toilet of the internet.”

    What do you think about that comment? Is that true?

    Look at what Selena Gomez said about socal media. Keep in mind that she has 150 million followers. ”

    “Gomez said too much screen time on Instagram made her “kind of depressed looking at these people who look beautiful and amazing, and it would just get me down a lot, so I just think taking breaks is really important.”

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2019/05/15/selena-gomez-calls-social-media-dangerous-terrible-youth/3685625002/

    Look at these two pictures. Think about how they make you feel.   Do they make you happy? Do you feel good about yourself and your own situation?   Are you thinking to yourself, “Oh, seeing these people with money and relaxing and enjoying themselves really made my day! I can now go back to work in my cubicle and deal with customers and be loving and patient and joyful !!!” Are you inspired?

    We know that the internet is inundated with pictures and selfies and click bait, but do those pictures inspire people?  Do they inspire us to be better ? To do better?  It’s pretty easy to see the effort energy and time being devoted to inspire envy in others or to impress other people.  It’s everywhere.  Social media?  If it’s really the toilet of the internet, are we swimming in it?

    We have become a nation of entertainers. “Look at me!”.  Think about the number of pictures where people are essentially saying, “look at me !!  I bet you want to be me.”  You may be saying, “those things are harmless. People are just sharing. It’s no big deal.” Really ?

    The Downside of Social Media

    I think we need to be careful with spending time trying to impress or inspire envy. When we envy, we covet.  We want or desire what others have. The exact opposite of what lies within the authentic self. We are also insulting God when we envy. It’s kind of similar to  saying that he made a mistake with what he gave us.  That’s exactly what lies in the “false or socially conditioned self.”

    There are some very concerning statistics that are just coming to the forfront of social science and that is the rate of suicide.  The number of people committing suicide is increasing across ALL age groups.  These numbers are real and we should all be concerned about them. Especially if you have children.  Look at this excerpt from my second book on passion and power,

    If we take a step back and observe the phenomenon of social media, we need to look at how this is affecting our society and our children. We know that the incidence of suicide has been rising over the past twenty years and many people are speculating as to the cause. 

    https://www.thehealthscience.com/articles/cdc-suicide-rates-rising-across-us

    “Between 1999 and 2016, the suicide rate increased among all age groups younger than 75 years,” said Anne Schuchat, MD, principal deputy director of the CDC, who led a media briefing on the topic Thursday. The rates have gone up more than 30% in half of all states since 1999, she says. More than half of those who died by suicide did not have a diagnosed mental health condition, the researchers found. But most did have life problems. “Those who died by suicide were somewhat more likely to struggle with relationship problems or loss, other life stresses, or deal with impending crises,” Schuchat says. “But these issues were [found] in all, with or without a mental health condition.”

    Looking at recent societal trends and the impact that social media has on our youth and in today’s society, it is easy to see how people can become anxious or depressed. If we are spending more and more time on social media, then we can infer that we spend less time developing healthy and meaningful relationships in a real and personal way.

    Connectivity in “real life” is what I am talking about. Real conversation and sharing. Being actively involved in a deep and meaningful way with friends and family. Sharing struggles, triumphs, tragedies and trials. That is how Jesus intended for us to live.

    It seems that there is more effort and energy expended in seeking to have superficial or artificial interactions with people who, if we are being honest with ourselves, we don’t even know. If you spend a lot of time following celebrities, ask yourself “Did I get invited to their wedding?” We need to ask ourselves, “what is the value of knowing every detail of the lives of an athlete, rapper, internet celebrity or reality television star?” What is the value of knowing the details of anyone else’s life other than the people closest to you?

    If our whole reason for existence is learning how to love, how is that helpful? How many people do you follow on instagram or twitter or any other social media platform? What are you getting out of that interaction? It really isn’t an interaction, it’s more of a performance. They are posting videos or pictures and you are consuming or watching them. Are you able to share your deepest hurts or fears or concerns with a celebrity or a famous social media person? Is it a two-way street or is it only one way?

    The Danger Is Real

    https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/social-medias-impact-on-self-esteem_us_58ade038e4b0d818c4f0a4e4

    “Social media has been linked to higher levels of loneliness, envy, anxiety, depression, narcissism and decreased social skills. As a Behavioral Scientist, I wonder what causes this paradox? The narratives we share and portray on social media are all positive and celebratory. It’s a hybridized digital version of “Keeping up with the Joneses”. Meaning for some, sometimes it appears everyone you know are in great relationships, taking 5-star vacations and living your dream life. However, what is shared across our social networks only broadcasts the positive aspects of our lives-the highlight reels. Since we’re only getting people’s highlight reels and comparing it to ourselves, it is natural to have reactions to what we’re watching. How does this impact relationships, dating and our love lives? I conducted in-depth interviews with men and women, ranging from ages 28-73, that are active social media users and found that:
    60% of people using social media reported that it has impacted their self-esteem in a negative way
    50% reported social media having negative effects on their relationships
    80% reported that is easier to be deceived by others through their sharing on social media

    Match reported 51% say social media has made them feel more self-conscious about their appearance. Flores further explains “research has also shown that Face book users are becoming increasingly depressed from comparing themselves to their own profile.

    Meaning that if a person’s reality does not match the digital illusion they post on their profiles, emotionally, one may feel they are not living up to the “best” form of themselves.”

    Where is Our Authentic Self?

    There is that “best” version of ourselves idea floating around again. I believe that there is an objective idea of our authentic self. It is the idea that God had in mind when he created us. In order to find authenticity, we need to move towards our role model. Jesus. True authenticity is found in our relationship with him.

    If we are working to get people to envy us, we are firmly in the land of pride.  We want to avoid pride like the plague. Pride kills relationships.  Pride kills love.

    When we are prideful, we are focusing on us, not others. It’s the exact opposite of love. When we focus on love, by it’s very nature we are focusing on others. Look at your latest argument with a spouse or a child or a sibling. If you look closely, most likely there is pride, immaturity or selfishness involved. Ask yourself, “was I being immature?” “Was I being selfish or prideful?” Start with you. Our most natural instinct is to find the fault and pin the blame on someone else.

    Pride kills the classroom or laboratory of love.

    Relationships and love are the essence of authenticity. If we seek to help instead of impress,  that brings or yields value. Fruit.  It means that my time and my effort were not wasted because the focus is on someone else. It’s the exact opposite of pride.

     

     

     

  • Who Or What We Reject Matters

    Who Or What We Reject Matters

    Who Or What We Reject Matters

    We are free to choose to reject whatever we want. Sometimes we  reject activities or pursuits that are valuable. We just don’t think they have value or we can’t see the value. That has more to do with knowledge and vision. It can also come down to need. We don’t see a need.

    If we look at our faith life, when people reject or ignore spiritual pursuits, they don’t see a need.  They can’t see the value. If we see a need or we see value in pursuing spiritual growth and clarity, our behavior reflects that.

    We know that when people value something or some activity, they devote time to it and they spend money on it.  We can easily look at our own lives and look at where we’re spending our time and money.   Those are the ideas or activities that we have chosen to accept and embrace.  We value those activities or else we wouldn’t be spending what most people consider to be their most precious assets. Time and money. This is part of self-evaluation.  Honesty is required.   Sometimes brutal honesty. What do you value the most? What are you spending the most time on? Is there value there ? What are you choosing to reject ?

    Where is Your Value ?

    If you look at the picture above, this is clearly a relationship. Relationships have value. What if Jesus was the one pleading with you to come to him?  The most important relationships that we have are the ones we have with God and Jesus. They hold our eternity and the nature of our eternity in their hands. If we believe that statement, then we can agree that there isn’t anything more important than that.

    “Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God.”

    (12:21 NLT)

    I just came across a statement by C.S. Lewis. It’s absolutely brilliant because it breaks things down to their essentials.

    “Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.”

    We all get caught up in a lifestyle that makes our faith moderately important. If it was infinitely important our lives would reflect that.

    Where does value originate ? How do you decide what is valuable in your life ? Many times we make decisions about value with ourselves in the middle of those decisions. How is this activity going to help me or my family? How am I going to benefit from spending time working on this project?

    Really we are just bouncing in this life from accepting or rejecting activities or pursuits at all times.  Look at this verse in Luke 10:16,

    “Whoever listens to you, listens to me; whoever rejects you rejects me; but whoever rejects me, rejects Him who sent me.”

    We choose to accept or reject someone or something every day.  To me it’s about consistency. Whatever we consistently reject over the course of years is what influences this life and the next. It determines our destiny. What we consistently choose to accept and embrace over the course of years is what has the most impact on this life and our eternity.

    We Need To Choose To Reject Wisely

    Choosing the right way is really choosing the HARD way. It is hard to put ME second and think of others first.

     “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. “ But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”   

    ( Matthew 7:13-14 NIV)

    In “Brave the Wave”, there is an idea that OUR eternity is OUR responsibility. OUR choices and OUR rejections are both OUR responsibility. Jesus is telling us in the above verse from Luke that what we choose to reject is just as important as what we choose to accept, if not more important.

     

     

     

     

  • Our Hope Is Different

    Our Hope Is Different

    Our Hope Is Different

    I have talked about how difficult the life of a believer is, but there are definitely many advantages. We have HOPE. I’m not talking about wishful thinking. I’m talking about the HOPE of the bible. Elpis. Confidence. Trust. Eager Expectation. Our hope is different.

    Look at this excerpt from Brave the Wave,

    I’ve come across people in my life who have little or zero faith. I’ve seen the look in their eyes at the death of a loved one. One thing’s missing. Hope. Not the hope of wishful thinking, but the hope of the Bible.

    Biblical hope is conveyed by the Greek word elpis, meaning “confidence” or “trust.” Our hope is to be more like eager expectation. I’ve seen this kind of hope in people of faith when they’re nearing death. Sometimes they’re eagerly awaiting it, almost like they’re in line for a ride at Disneyland. Excitement and eager expectation. Smiling and waiting. They have total confidence in the beauty and wonder of the place that Jesus has prepared. They believe Jesus when he says,

    “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.”

    After saying that, Jesus was asked (by the disciple Thomas), “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” Here’s the answer from Jesus:

    I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him. (John 14:1-7 ESV)

    We either believe Jesus about heaven or we don’t. We either believe this promise or we don’t.

    Living with Hope

    We should live with biblical hope. Our hope is different. It is the hope of eager expectation.

    So yeah the hard road and the narrow road are difficult, but we have access to hope. We have access to power, clarity and vision.

    When we think about hope, as believers we have faith and trust. We have “eager expectation”.

    Think about going on vacation with your family. Maybe you are going on a cruise. Maybe you are taking a flight. You have been waiting for the week off from work so you can relax and spend time with your family and just sit back and enjoy yourself.  If you have ever been on a cruise, the one thing that is funny to me is the smile on everyone’s face when they are going through the check in process. Everyone is happy and laughing and joking. Including me. Why?  Are they hoping to get on board? The hope that we have grown up with and we are used to is more of a “wishful thinking”.  “I hope I win the lotto.”  It’s wishful thinking.

    As believers, we have the hope of “eager expectation.”  Just like when we are checking in for the cruise, we are eager and we fully expect to board the ship.  We are never in doubt that we will board the ship. When we have faith and trust in Jesus, we fully expect to see Jesus and check out the place he has “prepared” for us.  That is the HOPE of the believer. It’s different.

    Anxiety, Hope Or Joy ?

    If we think about our stress and our anxiety, most of the time we are anxious or uncomfortable about something coming in the future. We are afraid of an outcome or some other circumstance that exists only in our minds.  We think of all the possible bad outcomes that can occur.  This interferes with our Joy.  Our hope is different.

    How do we live with hope? Where is that elusive joy? Peace? It’s nowhere to be found. The answer is in our relationship with Jesus. He is the answer to all of these. Hope. Joy. Peace. All of them come from a relationship with Jesus.

    “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”   (John 10:10 NLT)

    “I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!”     (John 15:11 NLT)

    We should ask ourselves. Do I have a rich and satisfying life? Why not?  Is my joy overflowing? Do I have joy?

     

     

     

  • Boredom Is A CHOICE

    Boredom Is A CHOICE

    In my book “Brave The Wave”,  I quote someone who I remember saying, “well, honestly my life is not very interesting.” This person was explaining why they spent so much time looking at social media and Instagram. It is really evidence of the phenomenon that we are currently seeing everywhere in this country. “Life watching”.  Either watching people live out their lives or trying everything we can to get other people to watch our lives.    Here is an excerpt from “Brave The Wave”,

    Joseph Campbell said, “We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”

    I’ve heard people say, “Well, my life’s not very interesting.” But we have the choice to discover, explore, and seek our unique gifts and talents to use in this life, which makes life interesting, exciting, and worth living to our fullest potential. It’s our responsibility, because no one’s going to do it for us. We can make our own lives as boring or as interesting as we choose.

    We can choose to spend time merely “life watching.” We’re free to learn as many details of other people’s lives as we can, but we aren’t free from the consequences of that choice. We should remember the truth. We know the truth from the Bible, one that’s reaffirmed in NDEs ( near death experiences) : we’ll be held accountable for how we lived our life. We won’t be asked about or shown anything from anyone else’s life.

    Boredom isn’t part of the plan. Boredom is our own fault. It’s the unwillingness to explore our unique and authentic selves. It’s our unwillingness to examine our passions. We’re never bored when we pursue activities and actions that fully realize our individual uniqueness and authenticity.

    We need to remember that what other people are doing is not our business. We may be watching other people become who they were meant to be, while we’re wasting time ourselves in not discovering and realizing our own full potential.

    Whenever we feel bored or we feel the need to be “entertained”, that is an opportunity. An opportunity for discovery. It’s an opportunity to move closer to our authentic self.

     

  • A List Of Regrets

    A List Of Regrets

    When we talk about clarity, there is one moment or one time in our lives when we can see the most clearly. That is around the time of death. When we know that our time is limited and we can see the finish line,  that is when we can see the things that  have the most value.  In Brave the Wave, I talk about an experience I had talking to a young AIDS patient when he was at this point,

    I’ll never forget sitting on the floor of a hospital room talking to a twenty-year old AIDS patient. I was a young medical student doing clinical training. He told me that when you know you’re going to die, and you don’t have much time left, “you think about death one hundred or two hundred times a day.” Then he started crying, and said, “I’ve never been this scared in my entire life.” He died about three days later. Wish I would have known then what I know now.

     That kind of reminds me of the Tim McGraw song “Live Like You Were Dying”.  The scene above happened decades ago, but I still remember that young man. I wish I could live that scene again so that I could talk to him about faith and the love of Jesus. That is one regret that I think about among others. The thing that may be useful for us on this journey is to think about our own deaths, not “one hundred or two hundred times a day”, but at least once or twice.

    Below is a list of regrets that were compiled from hospice patients.  This is from the book “Resisting Happiness” by Matthew Kelly. This is a good list to look at, and take inventory of, for pretty much everyone on the planet. We need to think about these things when we are healthy and happy, not when we are at the end of our lives. This is a good list for weekly if not daily review. Notice though that most of these regrets have to do with relationships. Other people.   Also many of the regrets are inaction regrets. Not action regrets.  There are good studies to show that the majority of the regrets people have at the end of their lives (eighty percent) are inaction regrets. We can see from this list, that inaction is what people focus on. I took the liberty of adding in common themes or ideas that my upcoming books and blog posts will focus on. Those topics are in parentheses, after the listed regrets.

     

    I wish I’d had the courage to just be myself.      (authentic self)

    I wish I’d spent more time with the people I love.   (relationships)

    I wish I’d made spirituality more of a priority.   (authentic self)

    I wish I hadn’t spent so much time working.     (authentic self)

    I wish I’d discovered my purpose earlier.  (authentic self)

    I wish I’d learned to express my feelings more.   (loving others, relationships)

    I wish I hadn’t spent so much time worrying about things that never happened.   (fear)

    I wish I’d taken more risks.  (fear)

    I wish I’d cared less about what other people thought.   (fear, opinion of others)

    I wish I’d realized earlier that happiness is a choice.  (authentic self)

    I wish I’d loved more.    (relationships, love)

    I wish I’d been a better spouse.   (relationships, love)

    I wish I’d taken better care of myself.    (passion, power)

    I wish I’d paid less attention to what other people expect.    (fear, opinion of others)

    I wish I’d quit my job and found something else I really enjoyed doing.   (authentic self)

    I wish I would have stayed in touch with old friends.   (relationships, love)

    I wish I’d touched more lives.    (authentic self, loving others)

    I wish I hadn’t spent so much time chasing the wrong things.    (passion, purpose)

    I wish I’d had more children.  (relationships)

    I wish I’d traveled more.   (passion, purpose)

    I wish I’d thought about life’s big questions earlier.  (authentic self, loving others)

    I wish I’d lived more in the moment.   (passion, purpose)

    I wish I’d pursued more of my dreams.  (passion, purpose)

    I wish I’d spoken my mind more.    (fear, opinion of others)

    Hopefully some of these ideas will become “sticky”.   If you come across an idea that is unique, or valuable or you see as a threat, it will capture your attention. It will spark or kindle a small flame. When we have a small flame in a tiny pile of kindling, we are in business. But it takes effort and time to nurture and grow that flame.

    Looking at this list not only reminds us that we should spend more time and effort on relationships and loving others, it also gives us clues as to what should be the focus of our lives. Clearly it’s relationships.

    Also there are themes of not fulfilling our full potential.   Not pursuing our passion or purpose.

    What is interesting about this list is  what is missing.

    I wish I spent more time watching television or on social media ?   Not there.

    I wish I had spent less time reading the bible or in church services or growing, developing my faith?  Not there.

    There is real value in a list like this. It gives us the answers to a test that hasn’t even been handed out yet.

     

     

     

  • AT MY BEST

    AT MY BEST

    “At my best”

    When or where can you point to in your life when you were “at my best”. One shining moment in your life when you can say, yes at this moment, I was “at my best”. When were there moments when you were “at my worst”?   That is one moment I would like to have back or I wish I could change that moment because that wasn’t “one of my better moments.”

    Make a list. Just for yourself. It doesn’t have to be too long. On the left put a header, “at my worst or my worst moments or moments I was least proud of.” On the right put “at my best, moments I am most proud of.” Just make a quick list.

    Think about the moments where you were “at my worst”.  We all have them. All of the moments where I was “at my worst”, had some selfishness in there somewhere. Many times there was pride in there also.  Prideful thinking.

    Many of the moments I wish I could have back could have been different  if I had been more selfless and humble. Pride is a killer. It kills relationships and it kills love. it reduces us to our worst.

    Most of the time that I felt “AT MY BEST”, I was helping somebody else. The focus was off of me. If we can focus on our closest relationships and focus on love, automatically, we are “AT OUR BEST”.  If we can learn to be selfless and humble, we automatically avoid situations where we are tempted to be “at our worst”.   It ain’t easy, but it’s possible.

     

    We Ride  !!!!!!!!

  • Find Your Authentic Self Blog !

    Find Your Authentic Self Blog !

    Whose Version of You Are You?

    How do we find our authentic self ? On a Saturday afternoon a few weeks ago, a college football coach was being interviewed by a sideline reporter before a game and he made a comment that he was looking for each member of his team to be the “best version of himself”. That is the current catch phrase right now. Authentic self. Best self.  “I’m looking to be the best version of myself.” I’ve been hearing this a lot lately.

    Someone told me recently, “Oprah has been using that authentic self term for years.”  Oprah said, “I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I’ve become. If I had, I’d have done it a lot earlier.” But how do we find our authentic self?

    Authentic means: genuine, real, bona fide, true, veritable. Where do we find truth? Ourselves? We lie to ourselves more than anyone else. Other people? Humans are human.  We make mistakes. We all do.  Many times we get it wrong.

    I believe that there is only one source for truth. Jesus. He is truth. He is our source of authenticity. We can’t find our “authentic self” without him. He pretty much laid it out for us in this verse:

    “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

    (John 15:5 NLT)

    That statement is kind of a bottom line statement.  Notice he doesn’t say “without me you may find it a little harder to reach your goals.” He doesn’t say “without me it may take you a little more time to get to where you want to be.”  He says “apart from me you can do nothing.”  NOTHING.  Of course we are free to accept and embrace this idea, or ignore and reject it.  It’s our choice. We have freewill.

    How Do We Find Our Authentic Self?

    My book “Brave the Wave” is the first in a series on the authentic self. The self we were created to be. It is more closely aligned with our spiritual selves. When we are seeking spiritual pursuits, those are supernatural. That is why we need supernatural guidance.  We need a standard for truth and wisdom. So we use the bible primarily.  In addition,  I also use NDEs or near death experiences as an adjunct for two reasons. One, I think they’re fascinating. Two, I believe they are supernatural experiences that can help us discover our authentic selves and they actually serve to point out a “false or socially conditioned self.”

    When it comes to true authenticity, we start with our relationship with Jesus. For my own transformation, it began with this verse.

    “Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth, but not have a rich relationship with God.”

    (Luke 12:21 NLT)

    That verse started a ten year journey of discovery, revelation, exciting spiritual experiences and clarity.  “Brave the Wave” documents many of these experiences and there are three more books in varying degrees of completion that comprise the Authentic Self series. Those books delve into the topics of purpose, power, passion, pain and fear.

    This blog should be called the Rumbling, Stumbling, Tumbling Bumbling Blog, because that describes the author.  A rumbling, stumbling, tumbling, bumbling, sinner.   I believe there is value  in many of the ideas on this blog and in the books to come. This has been a ten year marathon and I’m only on the first leg of the race. Got a long way to go. I hope you want to join me on the journey.

    The Trials and Storms Are a Comin’

    One important idea is that when it comes to trials, troubles and waves, we all know  they’re coming. I repeat this line in “Brave The Wave”  several times because I believe it to be true,

    A central idea that’s a recurring theme in this book is simple and elementary, but it’s also critical to understanding almost every other principle that’s outlined here. It’s the idea that no matter who you are, or how much money you make, or how smart you are, or what you believe, or what your race or ethnicity is—you’re going to see trials, storms, and tribulations. They come like waves, one after another. Sometimes you can see them coming; sometimes you can’t.

    Sometimes we can see the trial or wave coming and we just go underwater and let it pass over our heads. The problem is that we could be missing out on opportunities for growth, wisdom, clarity and a leap or jump towards our authentic self. The self we were created to be.  If we can look at these waves and trials as opportunities and sources of power, things begin to change.

    Together, we Brave The Wave,

    We Ride !!!!

    Here is the link to buy Brave The Wave.

    The image above is from Clark Little Photography. Here is the link. https://clarklittlephotography.com/